


Telling My Secrets

by PreciousCosmos



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon Fix-It, Cole and Jay play moral support but they have feelings too, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kai and Nya contend with their roles as elemental masters and The Big Siblings, Lloyd has Actual Special Green Ninja powers and is going to DEAL with his issues god dangit, Major Character Bad Time, Missing Scenes, No Plot Convenience Allowed for ns10, Season 11 Spoilers, Warning for needles and non-graphic vomiting, Zane struggles with his identity like the well-adjusted nindroid he is, and abandoned elemental potential all come into play like they should've in canon, and lots of GuiltTM going around, any more tags would be spoilers, but know that old prophecies, can also basically be summarized as 'lloyd gets knocked out and fretted over every chapter yeehaw', forbidden spinjitzu, next update contains a long Ice Chapter rewrite!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-06-02 14:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19443484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PreciousCosmos/pseuds/PreciousCosmos
Summary: "There are two kinds of guilt: the kind that drowns you until you're useless, and the kind that fires your soul to purpose."― Sabaa Tahir, An Ember in the AshesThe nature of being a family is that sometimes you fail each other; then you work together to fix it. Over the years, the ninja have mastered this art like an elemental power, but what's to be done when the ones you love become unrecognizable? You sacrifice, endure, and you compromise even yourself to remind them of who they are, because come literal hell or high water,you're family, and most of all: youneverquit.





	1. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S8. Kai of all people has something to say to Lloyd about bad snap decisions.

Memories flood, distracting.

> _"I promised to look after Lloyd!"_

A monstrous, child-devouring fish bears down on him.

Kai doesn't know where he's going because he _can't see anything._ Because all he can see are memories and _red_. A dragged trail of red in the sand. A filter of rage over every other place.

Like double vision blending red and green, a Christmas morning sapped of joy, he sees his friends locked away so he can fight a demon alone.

What kind of desperate big shot does something so stupid?

> _"Maybe if I stand up to Lord Garmadon, I'll find my true potential, and then everyone will see that I'm the Green Ninja!"_

_Oh yeah._

Defeating — _saving_ — that villain is the sole present under the tree. It's tied with a little green — _purple_ — bow, and he knows it contains everything he's ever wanted. He almost has it, but then he — _she_ — gladly throws it in the fire. Kai found his place in the world and got a fourth brother out of the deal. Harumi gets to eat Lloyd alive.

And Kai sees red because he blames himself.

* * *

Cole mans the searchlight as the rest of the ninja rappel from the _Destiny's Bounty_ to where they found Lloyd lying with his face pressed down into the sand. This time, they hadn't needed to search long for one of their fallen friends, knowing right where he'd be thanks to Harumi's sadistic broadcast. And the gaping hole in the wall.

They all call out his name before reaching him, but he gives them no answer.

Jay lands first, the others close behind. "First Zane. Now Lloyd. Who's it gonna be next?" he says, hands held at his chest in worry.

"Don't _talk_ like that," Nya berates. She kneels and reaches to roll Lloyd over, but thinking better of it, she just takes his wrist instead. Brushing his hair over his ear with the other, she exposes the gashes and swelling bruises on his face, the ominous splotch by his open mouth. She chokes back a sob, saying, "Zane, is it safe to move him?"

The nindroid aims a quick scan over Lloyd's body, concluding, "No, but we cannot afford anyone up there coming down here." He gestures to the prison ahead where a few Sons of Garmadon stand mocking them. They can't risk treating Lloyd on the ground if even the lackeys attempt to finish the job, let alone Harumi and her troupe who're thankfully nowhere in sight. "My sensors indicate that we may not have a choice."

Kai taps his comm. "We're gonna need that stretcher again, Pix."

 _"I am already sending it down,"_ Pixal responds.

On the gurney's arrival, Jay helps Nya lift Lloyd over onto it as Kai and Zane, fists raised and eyes vigilant, position themselves between their friends and the enemy. Merely watching with smirks plastered on their faces, the Sons make no move to approach. One chuckles.

As a blazing log snaps in two, Kai's composure cracks. "What, you wanna fight?" he shouts. Despite knowing it's foolish, he can't resist hurtling a fireball at them. They easily sidestep it and burst into guffaws. He snarls, preparing to pop off another, but Zane pushes down his wrist. The icy burn of his hand, whether elemental or titanium, forces Kai to calm.

With a restrained yell, he puts his fire out and joins the others on their ascent back to the ship. He pours his furious energy into climbing the rope faster when howled taunts from the Sons reach his ears. _If he could burn them all to a crisp...If only he could get Garmadon's ugly face under his fists again._

It feels like a suspended second when Lloyd's vivid green eyes catch his — delirious eyes squinting from the brightness of the sun peaking over the horizon. The gurney then passes him up. "Why'd you do it, Lloyd?" he mutters.

Pixal meets the ninja as they pull themselves aboard, and together they rush down to the control deck where the _Bounty_ delivered their leader.

Evidently more alert, he's trying to slide off the gurney to his feet.

"Wait, Lloyd, your leg—" Zane tries to warn, but Lloyd drops his weight on it and yells when it instantly buckles. The closest, Cole dashes over, catching him from behind, and holds him upright. The sudden movement must have been too jarring in his state because a color to match his gi shadows his face.

"Wuh-oh! He's gonna hurl," Cole exclaims, bracing his hold. The others back up; Zane, however, finds a bowl just in time.

Kai doesn't want to be sick, so he tries not to look, but he can't miss the fresh shock of red. "Is that...?"

"Yes. He is bleeding internally," Zane says, dread in his voice.

"Oh, _internally_. That's where it's supposed to be anyway, right?" Jay comments with his trademark anxiousness as Zane discards the bowl.

Everyone swallows their reprimands when Lloyd's coughed whimpers mutely echo through the room, the sound doing more than just sobering them. "I-I'm sorry— S-sorry. I can't—" he mumbles as he sinks, Cole controlling his collapse. They both end up sitting on the floor with Lloyd propped up against the other's chest. "M'sorry."

Surprised by the harsh thoughts flooding over him, Kai growls. His heart works itself into a dizzying race, but it has to be said. "You know what? You should be." His fist swings around of its own accord as punctuation.

"Kai!" his sister admonishes.

"Calm down," Jay pleads.

"No, listen to me." He steps into the center of their gathering. "It's crazy I have to say it, but we're a team! We work this kind of stuff out together." Listing to the side, Lloyd seems unable to pay attention, so Kai gets down level with him. He doesn't mean to, really he doesn't, but he grabs his little brother's gi, barking out, "And ninja don’t leave each other behind, especially when it's _all_ of us."

"Back off, man," Cole warns as he shoves Kai away.

Stumbling, he looks at the upset, shocked faces of his friends then back down at Lloyd. Instead of being dismayed like the others, his split lip turns up into the tiniest of pained smiles, and he extends a shaky hand towards Kai, panting, "Never...quit...either."

"We didn't ask you to," Kai starts to say but stops himself. Lloyd looks incredibly small wrapped up in Cole's bulky arms. It's so easy to forget that he isn't as old as he appears. Though Kai knows all of them had been through hell together, he's reminded of everything Lloyd had to face alone in the small amount of time that hadn't been stolen from him. How he'd done the exact same thing when he was Lloyd's age for a pathetically selfish reason rather than a noble and selfless one.

And he also remembers that not too long ago, he'd acted on his own again due to the insanity parents could cause. _He'd_ been Lloyd's example.

All of Kai's anger wilts under the pressure of his fear — _of his guilt._ His stomach churns with it. He takes Lloyd's forearm, holding on with every ounce of remorse in him, and rubs the other hand over his shoulder, saying, "Ah, buddy, I'm sorry. We'll get you fixed up, okay?"

Lloyd keeps smiling like he'll be all right, but since they're keeping eye contact, Kai sees it when the green bleeds out of his irises. He moves the hand on Lloyd's shoulder to his forehead after a violent shudder draws an awful cry out of him. The fire ninja knows the telltale signs of a growing fever. He can even feel _burning_ with every pulse of Lloyd's blood as though Garmadon's dark power had turned it into acid.

They're losing him.

"How? What do we do?" Cole says, looking to everyone and settling on Nya. He lets Lloyd lie down on his lap as Kai pulls back from them.

"I **—** I don't know. I'll contact Misako." She disappears out the door.

"We must do what we can here, now, or I fear he will not survive the trip back to the city," Pixal says as sensitively as she can manage.

"Water, towels, needles and thread," Zane asks for, bending to help his brothers off the floor.

Cole waves him off with, "I got it," and carries Lloyd to the observation table without the assistance.

"Do we have anything to facilitate sedation?" Zane continues.

Jay searches the storage cabinets. "Uh, morphine? That's all we got."

"It will have to suffice."

Kai wants to help, but he's frozen to the spot where he still crouches. With the others bustling around, he forces himself to stand. Lloyd's hyperventilating, pitiful elemental sparks lighting up his chest. His own power's turned against him, and Kai can't _move_.

Cole holds down his broken leg, ready to set it, but he's knocked back by a pulse of energy that runs across Lloyd's body. Zane takes the next hit, stunned by electric green bolts dancing off his metal skin before he can give Lloyd the morphine shot. One of the monitors on the wall blows out. Pixal yelps and cowers when the power reaches her, the water basin she carried crashing on the deck, and Jay holds up an orange towel like a shield and darts out of its range.

It latches onto Kai, bringing phantom pain to his scars. He _feels_ Lloyd’s terror and grief through the green shock. He can't _do_ anything.

That's never stopped him from trying before.

He moves past Zane who's picking up the syringe off the floor, steeling himself against the elemental power that lashes out at him. Lloyd's clawing at the table, obviously not fully conscious of what he's doing. "Hey, they're trying to help," Kai says and catches Lloyd's wrists, crossing them over the sparks on his chest. The energy slowly fizzles out, but his panicked breathing doesn't relax. Neither does the completely freaky way his eyes flash between green and black.

Kai realizes that the colors shift with his heartbeat.

He has to talk the kid down, or his power is gonna burn right through him. He tries, "You're _with us_ , Lloyd. We're not gonna let anything hurt you..." as he passes Lloyd's arm to Zane behind him, leaning down to pin it with his elbow. Lloyd's wide eyes follow the movement, energy sparks building back up when Zane rolls his sleeve out of the way, repositioning the needle. A tiny bolt zaps Kai in the eyeball. He shakes off the sharp twinge, saying, "No, look at me," and leans over more to block Lloyd's line of sight.

For some reason, he thinks slamming the back of his head on the table is gonna free him from Kai's hold, but it only makes him groan, screwed-shut eyes leaking tears. Kai flattens his hand on his forehead as he says, "Listen. Lloyd, stop—"

He mumbles something that sounds like, "Don't let go," but that's probably not right because he's twisting his wrist out of the grip Kai keeps on it, fingers strained, clenched, then open again. His right foot scrapes the table but trying that with the left just causes him more pain when his leg won't bend. It's all Kai can do to stop him from arching his back higher than an inch.

If he's still strong enough to fight like this after spending half the night under the stars, then maybe he has it in him to pull through.

"Please, hold him still," Zane begs.

" _Listen_ ," Kai orders as he squeezes Lloyd's wrist tighter, then stroking his hair back over his head a few times. Anything to ground him, to make him stop _hurting_ himself. "You have to calm. Down."

He finally does, if only thanks to Zane. His crying, vacant stare hurts worse than his uncontrolled power, and the rapid eye-color shifting slows, settling on black. For a split, horrifying second, Kai thinks Lloyd’s just _died_ , but then he notices the pulse still going under his fingertips. Why— why are his eyes black? If his power's on the fritz like that, shouldn't they just be his natural red?

The others descend on him, inadvertently pushing Kai as he backs out of the way.

Zane gets him to bite down on a folded rag and holds his hand, ushering Pixal to mirror the action on the opposite side, and gives Cole a three-second countdown with his other hand while Jay secures Lloyd's good leg. Then Cole yanks his broken one straight. In spite of the painkiller, he groans again, a deep, strangled sound, his eyes rolling back as Zane takes the rag. Pixal distributes the medical supplies, the four setting to work now that he's unconscious.

And that's all Kai can take of seeing his baby brother like this.

He scrubs his eye on the way up to the bridge. It's just watering from the pain, or so he has to tell himself.

Nya's on the phone with Misako, hanging up soon after Kai joins her, leaning on his palms by the helm. She only looks away from him long enough to set a course on the navigation console but zeroes her attention back when she steps up beside him. "Kai, your eye!" She holds her hand to his face, short of touching him. It's just enough to make him look at her. "It's so red. What happened?"

"It's nothing," he says, tearing his eyes away and glowering at the red painted railing. One fist thumps on it before gripping it again.

She rubs his back and sighs as she takes the _Bounty's_ wheel. After a moment, she shakes her head to herself, glancing at him.

"What?" he asks.

"I can't believe _you_ said that to him."

He winces at the pang of guilt he feels for yelling at Lloyd earlier. "People grow up, ya' know."

She gives him a mock-incredulous look. "And you're 'people' all of a sudden?"

He pushes her playfully. "Hey, it's true. Yes, I may be the living embodiment of pure impulsiveness, but I do like to be one of you sometimes."

"I'm glad you are."

Her tone's harder with that, face sincere. She means him becoming a ninja, being on this team. He bites back the sting in his eyes and nods. How much longer does Lloyd have to be, too? Or the rest of them? What chance does Kai have to protect _anyone_ if even a son can't save his own father?

Paint sizzles and wood splinters under his hands.

* * *

Zane presses his frosted hands into places on Lloyd's face, his forehead, cheeks, his neck, trying to control his skyrocketing temperature. Jay mops up the melted ice after him with a towel he brought from the ship. Kai and Cole stand frozen, silent. Mistaké holds the cup of tea and patiently looks between them all. Then Lloyd's making a heartbreaking noise.

Nya doesn't need any more time to consider. "Do it," she volunteers, no room for argument.

“Wait," Kai objects anyway. "You don’t just jump into decisions like this."

Clearly still mad at him for earlier, Cole snaps at him, accusing him of selfishness. Sensing their ensuing argument, Zane leaves Lloyd to go split them up, or rather it turns out, to take Cole's side.

Nya understands why Kai doesn't like this idea. She's even a little proud that he's trying to think things through. Lloyd lies on a counter in some backstreet shop dy— _suffering_ because he’d let his emotions take over, so it's only rational that they be careful now. But she was never attached to her powers to begin with and knows there's no other choice she’d be willing to make.

Along with the others, she lays her hand on Lloyd's head and sends her brother a pointed look that she hopes doesn't make him think she's forcing him. Still, he gives in a moment later.

Lloyd coughs out the first sip. Mistaké tsks, "Not that way, little one," and she kneads the back of his neck as she tips the cup again.

Nya's not sure how it works, but she's thankful to see him take the tea without another issue. She threads her fingers through his damp hair, as much to preemptively apologize as it is to follow Mistaké’s instruction, and prays that what they may be about to sacrifice helps more than it hurts.


	2. Endure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S9. After she's done speaking with him in private, Mistaké asks Lloyd to get the only member of his team not trapped in the First Realm for her.

"Hey, Nya!"

Nya turns to the upper room where Lloyd leans out the door and beckons for her to come upstairs. She waves in acknowledgement, muttering, “What does Mistaké want with me?” She shrugs to herself and gives a few parting instructions to the other masters.

Lloyd sits drinking a nearly empty cup of tea with the old shopkeeper. She watches him almost intently from across the table.

"What's up?" Nya asks as she takes the spot beside him.

"I think she wants to catch you up," he says, downing the last sip. Nya can't be sure, but he may have just swayed around more than purposefully directed his attention back to Mistaké. His eyebrows raise as if expecting her to say something, but she remains quiet. To fill the awkward silence, he speaks up instead. "Well, uh, she said that the others were sent to..to the..." Trailing off, he blinks hard and narrows a suspicious squint at his cup.

"What?" Nya questions him, casting a cursory glance at Mistaké starting to make her way around the table to them.

He doesn't look up. "This tea. It's really... _really_ calming... _nngh_."

Mistaké plucks the cup from his hands as he slumps against Nya. Immediately alarmed, she lifts his face, finding his eyes firmly closed. "Lloyd?" she half-yells, shaking him.

"Oh, let him rest," Mistaké says. "My special earl gray blend would not have put him out if he had no need for it." She holds up her teapot, giving it two inviting tilts and saying, "There's plenty left if your mind craves renewed, _heheh heh_ , clari- _tea_ as well."

Nya gathers by Lloyd's little snores that it truly is some kind of sleeping potion. "Um, no thanks," she says with a nervous grin, high voice going up another pitch. "Already got more clarity than I know what to do with."

Mistaké shrugs as if someone turning down her tranquilizer tea is just a normal part of her day. She then motions to a low cot in the corner, nodding with a mischievous but warm smile. Realizing that's probably the old woman's reason for calling her upstairs, Nya ducks under Lloyd's arm, crosses the room, and settles him down on it. Wanting to be sure of his well-being, she sits on the floor to keep close to him.

His hair's too unruly these days compared to the care he used to give it. She brushes his stray bangs off his face, taking note of the dark circles she already knows are under his eyes. Twitching at her touch, he at least seems more peaceful, far better than the dead healing coma they'd— well, Mistaké had put him in a week ago. Unfortunately, that had been the only deep sleep he'd got since then.

And he isn't the only one. These last few days have taken more out of Nya than anything else before. Maybe a sip of tea actually would do her some good...but she has to stay strong for him. She only just started on their new vehicle. There's too much she still needs to do. Rubbing her bloodshot eyes, she sighs and says, "You didn't tell Jay either."

Mistaké hums, questioning.

"What tea you gave him." She turns to the old woman, expression softly accusatory. "What if they hadn't realized in time? They could be dead because you wouldn’t drop the cryptic act."

“I was as clear as I needed to be." Retrieving her cane, she continues, “What good would the traveler's tea have been if they used it out in the open for any reason they pleased?"

Lost, Nya scrunches her eyebrows.

Mistaké's easy smile drops, and she shuffles to the window. Gazing out over the elemental masters below, she explains, "Garmadon now believes he has the upper hand and will be lulled into false security. When your friends return, he will sustain many decisive blows with no method to counter them all, the consequences of these events rippling through all of time." She thumps her cane against the floor, turning back to Nya. "The story is not over, child. This is how it must be."

Nya stares down at her hands and imagines the blow they would deal Harumi's whole monstrous operation.

Exhaling, Lloyd curls up on his side away from them.

"Come now, let's give him some quiet, for tomorrow begins his next great challenge."

* * *

The first thing Lloyd feels when he wakes up is filtered sunlight on his face. Then he realizes that he's not in any pain, his aches from last few day's training gone. Confused, he doesn't remember falling asleep.

_Wait. Yes, he does._

Thoroughly embarrassed, he lets out a groan as he glances around the room. He cuts himself off the second he notices Mistaké sitting cross-legged in her spot at the tea table. Thankfully, her eyes are closed, resting. He feels a little guilty for taking her bed, but honestly it's not like _he's_ responsible for that.

The last thing he wants is to disturb her ****—**** or gain her attention. With his light ninja step, he leaves the room and slides the door shut without a sound.

He's shaky with early-waking tiredness and all the lights in the depot hurt his eyes, but he knows he just has to walk it off. Like everything else. That thought, however, doesn't weigh as heavy today. His body no longer feels like it'll blow away with a single gust of wind, and the hollowed carving in his soul wants to be filled with life again. _His uncle._ _His brothers. They're alive._ He only has to hold out for them.

He spots Nya working with Skylor on the top of a new vehicle and treks down the stairs.

* * *

Nya finishes hammering the last bolt into place on her battle wagon's first layer of armor. She stands up to survey their progress and notices Skylor smiling at something behind her. She turns, instantly brightened by the sight of Lloyd ambling over. "Morning, sleepyhead," she greets.

"What time is it?" he yawns, tugging knots out of his hair.

"Early enough." She hops down to the floor. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, but," he makes his sad, little squinty face at her, continuing, "Ugh, _please_ don't let me have any more of Mistaké's teas."

Her memory flashes back, eliciting a giggle over how he used to squeal with laughter and play pranks for candy rewards and yell at the boys when they made him train before the sun came up. He's running around in a gi too big for him through a world he doesn't quite know yet, so she can't help answering, "You got it, kid." Smirking, she ruffles his freshly untangled hair like she'd always seen Kai do with the hope that the familiar gesture will be comforting.

Not unexpectedly, he shakes her off but smiles back, and she's so happy to catch that the spark she wasn't sure she'd ever see again has returned to his eyes. In an unbidden touch of rueful melancholy, she feels that it's brought out more by their pitch blackness.

As long as he's okay, she will be too. When her sensei, brothers, and boyfriend get back, the _team_ will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's more coming - i just have to thread in a few missing parts of the next chapter, which is set in s10. chapter 4 is set in s11 and has a little bit written for it already as well. i think i have enough info from the new eps to start working the scenes into a cohesive canon detour. i hope to see you all again there soon, and thanks for reading so far :D


	3. Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S10. Here, have an obligatory "Let's make Cole's fall way more dramatic than it needed to be and try to handle it better than it was in the episode" AU plus some afterlife shenanigans. Zane also decided he wanted to be a POV character, and who am I to argue with that.
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack:  
>  _"[Glimmer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynk_ymY-tFs)"_ \- Mixed · _"[I Hope You Die](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sir3QfP0rM)"_ \- Wye Oak

Cole fell.

Maybe Nya could have blessed Jay out for jinxing them if it hadn't been her own cursed fault.

Traitorous gravity pulls at her feet as she swings them back and forth over the side. The ship flies high enough that she can't see the darkness covering the city, just the calm, white clouds masking the absolute silence below.

The guilt ****—**** _god, the guilt_. She could drop dead with no sensation left in her body and still feel the agonizing culpability as though it were a serpent devouring her exposed heart. Or maybe a fish. She seems to remember something about that, something Kai told her offhand as if he didn't mean to a long time ago. She can't remember.

Her thoughts drifting to him must be some kind of summoning spell because he joins her on the stern, abruptly pulling her from her breakdown. They talk and plan. All they can do is talk and plan and fail and talk and feel their lives imploding before finally winning the day. And fight. Of course there's _always_ fighting.

Kai doesn't know it, but she thinks about the timeline when she _couldn't_ fight and really did die. She'd been lucky enough to be surrounded by her family then, the love of her short life crying over her body because it was his fault for failing her so spectacularly. But then he fixed it, and she never needed to forgive him. Jay opened up to her about it one night not too long after Master Wu disappeared, and she'd understood, really, sort of, but now she _knows_ how he felt when he made that wish.

If circumstances built on failure meant that he had to die, Cole at least deserved to have his loved ones with him, too, but instead, he's down there. He's all alone, and she can't wish it all away.

* * *

 _Lloyd meditates in the mouth of a volcano after he cursed his father to save the world. He's trying to balance green as he'd been taught to do with gold. He still hasn't figured out what peace is supposed to feel like, but he finds something immense deep in the core of his power._ _A small surge of it, not quite pain, stabs his eyes._

_Maybe volcanoes are too sentimental of a place for him. Time for a break. He treks down the mountain to a river where he washes his face. He's startled to see green where his father's red should be. The color retreats when he scrutinizes it too close._

_He doesn't get the chance to connect with his powers like that again because, soon afterwards, he's losing months of his life. Some he still has nightmares about, the rest he doesn't even know to remember. Then they're racing to find Cole before he fades away. Then Master Wu allows himself to be lost in time._

_And now Lloyd's a ninja master of a fully capable, scattered team. What else does he have to do but meditate?_

_Kai's the first to see the new look when he finally gets the color to stay. "Huh, neat. It suits ya'."_

_"Better than red?"_

_"Nothing's better than red, kid, but yeah, it's right on you."_

_"Aw, I liked the red," Nya says when she sees him a few days later._

_He bats his eyes, sending the green below the surface and back._

_Nya thinks it's hilarious. "That's gonna be great for undercover missions, but I think Zane still has you beat."_

_"It's no fair that he can change his appearance now. I wanna do that."_

_"How much more special do you need to be?" She's laughing._

_"I don't. I just...need to be good." He's meditating. He needs to be stronger and worth something. He needs to do his job._

_But he's not, and he doesn't, because Dad's alive again without really being that. Lloyd failed to protect him. And all he can think is, what if next time, his hidden enemy succeeds in driving him over the edge?  
_

_He doesn't let his eyes turn red anymore._

Kai gently shakes him awake. He'd been standing at the bow after he stormed off, staring over the clouds, but he felt so spent that he worried he'd topple overboard. He sat down behind the dragons, his knees drawn up to his chest, one arm wrapped around them and the other draped over his head, and somehow fell asleep.

His brother's got that gut-wrenching worried look on his face and says, "Nya came up with a plan," and yeah, it's a good one. The only one they've got right now.

> _"You may not have power, but that was never what made_ you _powerful. It was knowing what to do, when to do it."_

Lloyd blinks the memory away, looking to everyone after he's called them to regroup on the main deck. "We're going back for him," he announces without giving it enough thought. He partially regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth because half of his team burst into shouts, the other half falling silent.

"What? How?" Kai gets out first. His face dances between a hopeful smile and an apprehensive frown.

"If we are going back, will we now rescue my father?" Pixal wastes no time asking. Zane sets a comforting hand on her forearm, nodding after she meets his eyes.

"Yeah, or my parents?" Jay's scared expression relaxes when Nya takes his hand.

"Skylor," Kai mutters, leaning over the railing. His sister taps his shoulder with hers. Eyes closed, he straightens at the touch, turning to let her wrap her open arm around him.

Zane reaches over so he can rest his own free hand on Kai's back, other arm sliding to hook Pixal's elbow. She lays her hand on his wrist.

Unsure of what to say, Lloyd looks across the semicircle of five, his little team holding each other in their shared grief over _more_ than just one. It's killing him. He drops his head to stare down at his shoes, fists clenching from his own weakness.

Stepping closer, Nya presses her hands on the sides of his shoulders, coaxing him to relax and look at her, saying gently, "Believe me, I want to go back just as much as you do, but we don't have time." She gestures to her brother, one hand staying in place. "Kai _has_ to reforge the golden weapons."

He nods, their responsibility outweighing his feelings. He's learned that lesson already. Ignoring his father's eyes burning holes in the back of his head, he says, "I know. Um, hold on," then paces the deck for a few moments. Maybe he can make a compromise work. Stopping, he says, "Okay, here's what we'll do. Let's keep course for the monastery, refuel the Samurai X suit," he faces Kai, continuing, "And drop you off. Then, while you're working on the weapons, the rest of us will recover everyone that we can."

Garmadon invades the space in front of him, face so stern and disappointed that it almost has Lloyd thinking he's being _fatherly_. "That plan is even more foolish than your last one. Surely there is a limit to your stupidity." Almost.

"I won't hear it from you," Lloyd snaps. His heart skips an unpleasant beat, making him give a subtle gasp, but he swallows his nausea. He has to at least try to make his father understand, if only to show that he won't be pushed around by the demon's callousness. "You may have made me leave Cyrus behind, but I'm _not_ abandoning Cole."

Orange eyes flashing, Garmadon whirls to chase Lloyd's resulting attempt to avoid him. "I'm a broken record at this point. Your sentimentality is going to get every one of your other little friends killed."

And there goes his temper for the second time today. " _You're_ a broken record? How about this: Like. You. Care!"

Zane puts himself between the two and glares at Garmadon, keeping Lloyd in place by clasping his shoulder. He's grateful for that because he's not sure if he was about to throw a punch, storm off again, or straight up collapse. "I am in agreement with Lloyd," Zane states.

Upper arms crossing, lower left on his hip and right swatting through the air, Garmadon replies, "Ah, yes, that pristine logic of yours at work, I see."

Lloyd rolls his eyes at the obnoxious display, saying, "Don't argue with him." Pulling Zane, he shepherds his team away from his father. "Remember, he's just trying to use the conflict for his _own_ benefit."

Garmadon humphs, opening his mouth to retort, but Kai interjects with, "Wait a minute. You stopped me earlier, Zane. You don't even think Cole is alive."

Zane looks sheepish at that, squared shoulders dropping. He answers slowly, saying, "That was when Pixal and Lloyd were in immediate danger. Now, I'm...I am uncertain."

"You think he..." Kai's small, hopeful smile comes back, "might have survived?"

Garmadon interrupts Zane's response, spitting, "Hardly. If he did not perish in the fall, the darkness will have consumed him."

Lloyd knows that just as well, but, "It doesn't matter. Whatever ** **—**** whatever state we find him in, we _owe_ it to him to bring him home." He pivots from the group to swipe at his face, regaining his composure.

The others, seeming to approve of his plan, all make various nods and noises of agreement. Garmadon expends no energy to even snort a rebuke, but he doesn't give Lloyd reason to think he's resigned himself to them. He certainly doesn't volunteer to help. He simply gives up being the rational one as if he's been lecturing rocks and just now realizes he's an idiot for trying.

Maybe he's not wrong.

But ever since the Oni's darkness spread over Ninjago, a distant bell, like the sound his spinjitzu makes, has been delicately ringing in Lloyd's mind. Somehow never grating on his nerves, it grows louder any time he thinks about Cole or the other ninja. Maybe he should have decided he's crazy, but he's heard that sound almost his entire life, anytime he’s needed to _find_ something. It helped him uncover the Serpentine tombs. It showed him how to unlock the Golden Power through the Instrument of Peace. It urged him to take the challenge on Chen's Island. He heard it again when he woke up in the belly of the Preeminent, and it chimed the last time when he first saw the symbol of the Sons of Garmadon.

The sound is both urgent and comforting ****—**** a call to action he'll always answer no matter how much this life takes from him; that bell never fails to set him on the path to finding his family. With its return, he knows it'll show him where Cole is, too.

* * *

"You coming, Nya?" Lloyd asks.

She looks between everyone from where she'd unconsciously hung back behind the monastery gate. "I..." She didn't lie to him earlier; she wants nothing more than to look for Cole, but ** **—****

> _"Whatever state we find him in..."_

She can't _see_ him like that.

Jay, ever the observant one when it comes to her lately, stands close in front of her and takes up her hand in both of his. "It's okay. I'll pilot the _Bounty_. You can stay and help Kai." Though his voice shakes, he adds, "I'm sure that knucklehead needs it." She nods and has to duck her face to their hands, hoping he understands her thanks. The sob in her throat threatens to burst out if she tries to say it. He rests his head on hers, saying, "I promise we'll find him, Nya."

He leaves a kiss on her hair.

It could have been him that she killed.

He boards the ship with the others, leaving her to strangle the horribly selfish thought. Or drown in her own head, whichever part is stronger. She would deserve to lose, monster that she now knows she is.

* * *

"So, we're all clear on the plan?"

A few minutes ago, Zane overlaid the _Bounty's_ coordinate record with his internal map of the city and made a prediction of Cole's probable location. Knowing now that the poisoned atmosphere will likely have no affect on him, he'll go down with Lloyd so the two can search it and the surrounding area ****—**** and watch each other's backs ****—**** while Pixal stands by with the Samurai X suit aboard the ship. They brought longer cable from the monastery for the gurney as well. If they find him, they’ll signal her so she can lower it to them through the fog first. Then, once they're all on it, she’ll slowly descend as she pulls the line up until Lloyd and Zane can climb aboard the mech, limiting how close she'll have to be to the ground while saving as much time as possible. Meanwhile, Jay will be ready for anything else, whether to bring the ship closer to them or blast approaching Oni.

The objective is to be fast and limit the chances they could be heard or spotted. The Oni have only grown in number since Lloyd landed the first time.

Sharing a nod with Lloyd, Zane finishes strapping on his parachute. Pixal squeezes his hand before climbing into her suit. From the helm, Jay waves his readiness.

"No heroes," Lloyd commands, stepping onto the railing. "We're _all_ going home today."

Zane touches his elbow in comforting acknowledgment, and together, the two flip on their hoods and drop into the darkness.

Lloyd imagines Cole standing on some roof waving his arms at them, but all that appears under the thick haze is the same deathly quiet network of streets. He can make out a few people who ran out of buildings and their cars, frozen solid in their last moments. None of them are his lost brother.

Zane pulls his chute, prompting Lloyd to do the same. As they drift downward, he squints at shadowed corners and says, "Okay, look for any signs of him."

"I believe I see one." Zane points ahead of them.

There's the broadcast station, its towering wall, the roof of its widened lower floors, a skylight. A _shattered_ skylight.

The two hit the roof. Evidently needing to readjust, Lloyd chokes on the air again but doesn't feel as suffocated. Thankfully, Zane has no reaction to it and holds onto his shoulder until he quickly recovers his breath. They then inch to the window. He almost stops breathing anyway in his nervousness over what they may be about to see.

They can't see a thing.

The tendrils of darkness and purple smog fill the whole room below, blocking any visuals. Zane stares down, immobile save for the small head motions Lloyd knows means he's scanning the area. "Anything?" he asks after a moment, keeping his voice low to not echo all over the street.

Equally muted, Zane reports, "I am unable to detect a biological presence without auditory input from it. If Cole is down there, he’s not breathing."

Lloyd’s grip on the windowsill tightens, a bit of glass cutting his glove. "Yeah, and there's another problem." He watches the tendrils swirl around the room. "We can't get close with all that in the way."

"Maybe." Zane looks behind them to a stream of darkness snaking up the wall. Before Lloyd can catch on, he strides to it and experimentally feeds it his hand.

"Zane!" Lloyd shouts then clamps his own hand over his masked mouth. "What are you doing?" he whisper-shrieks.

The insane person in question withdraws his arm, testing the joints of his fingers with precise, inhuman movements. "Cole was right."

Angry but also morbidly curious, Lloyd shoots him a questioning head shake.

Zane flips his hood off. Determination etches into every metal line of his face as he elaborates, "It is exceptionally cold. But _I_ am the Master of Ice."

* * *

"I don’t like this."

"I know."

"This wasn’t part of the plan. This is exactly the opposite of what I said was part of the plan."

"Your voice must maintain a lower decibel."

Lloyd restrains his next protest. Zane fumbles through the darkness, searching the floor. His hands shake from the abjectly encompassing cold, and his knees crush shards of glass, but it is nothing that can affect a nindroid. He has only just jumped down a minute and thirty-nine seconds ago, but above, his leader is not taking the situation well.

"Maybe we're wrong,” Lloyd whispers. "Anything could've smashed the window."

His hand bumps into something pliant. Ignoring Lloyd, he increases his sensors to their highest settings. A black humanoid shape takes form, and along it, the unmistakable glint of copper accents reveals that he has indeed found a person, and not just a random one. "Anything? How about an Earth Ninja?" He takes the risk of activating his ocular light beams. Cole lies on his back right in front of him, dark tendrils decorating his face. Its stark, unnatural paleness when it should be tanned 'upsets' Zane's inner mechanisms.

Zane has never seen Cole so afraid of anything before, so it is a small comfort at least that his captured expression is one of peace rather than open terror ****—**** a sign that he was not conscious for the darkness succeeding in taking him.

Lloyd exhales a shaky breath, slightly falling against the windowsill. Satisfied that they have seen enough, Zane deactivates the light. He slips his arms under Cole's body and stands. Though stiff, it is not so rigid as to be like a statue, counter to Zane's expectations after observing the other petrified people. When Cole's head rolls down his arm, leaving a dark smudge on the white sleeve, he scans the floor and detects what is likely a thin sheen of blood. In the point of a second, he runs a calculation, determining from the velocity of Cole's seven-story fall and the amount of time he has been here that more should be present. Much more.

He will have to investigate the cause of this irregularity back aboard the ship, which he must return to immediately if the clicking in his structure and hitches with his processes are any indication of how _cold_ he is.

He oscillates one hand, generating an uneven icy staircase up to the window as he ascends it. Lloyd reaches down for Cole when he nears the ceiling and crawls away from the edge, dragging the other's body close to his as Zane climbs out of the room. He uses the vacated space to work full mobility back into his joints. After a few bends and stretches, they function adequately, so he closes the short distance between his family and himself.

Lloyd removes his hood. His breath catches on little gasps as he stares down at the brother in his arms, then he looks up at Zane, green eyes glimmering from tears he is trying not to spill.

Zane could cry, too, if he had installed the ability in his titanium body. He regrets neglecting that original part of himself now as he cannot share the emotion the same way. How could he ever think flashlights were more important than this? In place of it, he crouches in front of them and sets one hand on Lloyd’s shoulder, the other on Cole’s thigh, bowing his head against his little brother's. They stay like that for a few moments even as he requests Pixal's assistance. It seemed to help Nya earlier.

Lloyd silently cries, and Zane remains firm with them.

Cyrus Borg is the next closest lost family member. Jay follows the ship's coordinates to the approximate location he had been chanced upon. The subsequent stop will be the noodle house, assuming Skylor is there. They cannot afford to go searching for her if she is not. With the two living in the far outskirts of Ninjago, the Walkers come after that. In the meantime, Lloyd and Pixal repack the parachutes while Zane carries Cole to control and begins his analysis.

There are lacerations on his arms and legs from when he broke through the glass, but there is no evidence to suggest blood ever flowed from them. His internal organs seem intact. Zane tilts Cole's head to the side by the chin and hairline so that he can scan the injury to the back of it. His skull shows only a very minor fracture rather than the potentially fatal trauma it should have. It makes little sense, but Zane has to conclude that Cole's body froze as he fell, gaining a supernatural preservation just before he hit the ground. If not for that, the probability of his being _dead_ would—

"Hey, we'll be there in five," Lloyd says as he pokes into the room, hovering behind the door. His eyes fall to Cole's face, brows pinching together in sorrow. "I'd ask how he is, but..."

"Lloyd," Zane breathes, the disbelief he feels apparent in his voice. "He is better than what he should be."

"Huh?"

"I'm not entirely sure why, but this state," he picks up Cole's forearm, the attached wrist inflexible, "kept him from sustaining severe damage or bleeding out."

Lloyd steps fully into the room. "You're saying that the darkness _saved_ him?"

"In a way, yes," Zane answers, smoothing the black gi's wrinkles.

Lloyd leans against the wall, his arms crossing in a failed attempt to hide their trembling. "Well, forgive me if I don't go thanking the next Oni I see. He wouldn't have fallen in the first place if they didn't come here."

Zane cleans Cole's head injury, saying, "We are in agreement. I simply meant to point out the 'small blessings' that are granted to us." The dry blood washed away, he brushes Cole's thick hair back into place, continuing the ministration beyond the task's need as he looks to his brave-faced leader. "Those, we can be thankful for."

* * *

Lloyd's trained eye glances around the street, searching for any familiar markers. He's pretty sure they took this turn when they ran into Cyrus. Zane keeps watch for Oni as he slinks between overturned cars to him. Not for the first time, he wishes the nindroid didn't wear a snow white gi. His heart pounds harder at the thought of Zane being seen instantly and run through with a massive claw.

"Perhaps you did not travel this far down," he whispers from the end of the car he stops beside. "This wreckage was not in the video feed."

Lloyd looks over his own hiding spot. The string lanterns overhead no longer even blink with dying power, but the sign he definitely remembers haloing his father's bullheaded face still flickers. "No, this has to be it." The two creep forward through shadows. They hurry a short distance from where they started when Lloyd says, "Over there."

Like before, Cyrus's silhouette stands out amongst the others. There's scratches in the concrete and up across his wheelchair's left tire as if an Oni dragged its claws along the ground as it passed through. His glasses tip off his face, Lloyd righting them, but besides the horrified expression and lashes of darkness, he seems okay.

Lloyd presses his com-link and says, "Pixal, we got him. Just send down the cables this time. We'll hook them to his chair," followed by Zane providing her their coordinates.

_"Acknowledged."_

They keep their eyes peeled while they wait. Once, Zane snaps his head to the street corner opposite of where they came from but doesn't say if he's detected something, so Lloyd assumes it's fine. The cable ends drop down nearby, and he wheels Cyrus over to them. He ties the man's limbs to the chair with his headband and gi belt so he won't be blown out of it. After pulling the chair's brake lever, Lloyd loops the cords through its spokes, securing them. He grasps one and lodges his foot against the tire as Zane gradually moves over to do the same on the other side. "Okay, Pix, we're ** **—**** "

"Get down!" Zane warns in a hush as he grabs Lloyd's arm, yanking him to both their knees behind Cyrus's chair.

He flicks his eyes to every point but doesn't find any Oni in the fog. "Where?"

"I hear them. Around the block, voices."

Lloyd strains his ears, but he doesn't pick up much sound either. "Could they see us if we go up?"

"I would not recommend that yet."

"We can't just sit here either." They'll have to fall back, find cover until the Oni move on. The cables should be pulled up, too, just in case the demons are smart enough to know what they're for. He starts to say that when Zane sprints off ****—**** _in the direction he said he heard Oni_ ****—**** disappearing around the corner before Lloyd can finish yelling at him to stop.

His hands go to his hair, ripping it at the roots as his breathing speeds into panic. His brain barrages him with an image of Zane trying to attack one of those monsters and losing his head for it. Lloyd's the only one of the team who fought them; they could have killed him if Garmadon wasn't there. Neither of them stand a chance alone, not even together if there's a whole pack waiting. He takes a few stumbling steps forward, dazed mind slow to decide if he should go after him or signal Pixal to race down to them. He settles fast for both, his hand jumping to his comm as he bolts for the street corner.

Zane's voice crackles in his ear first. _"Lloyd, please keep your position. I lured them away. Circling back now."_

"I'm gonna kill him," he thinks out loud, shrill. He's gonna punch Zane in the face as soon as they're safe on the _Bounty_ even if it breaks his hand _,_ and then he's gonna have Nya build an actual brig so they can keep their stupid Titanium Ninja locked up for never _not_ defaulting to self-sacrifice. It's gotta be in his programming. Maybe Lloyd needs to let Garmadon try that infuriating survival speech on him instead.

Too many seconds later, Zane reappears, skillfully muted footfalls running up behind him. "Forgive me, but I—"

Lloyd can't seem to get a grip on his anger today, immediately whipping around on his brother and barely controlling his volume as he exclaims, "Of all the reckless ideas you come up with! Can't you just ** **—**** just give it a _rest_?"

His brows raise at the harsh interruption, but he shakes off his confusion, saying, "I couldn't translate everything, but they were saying 'last,' 'the highest point,' and 'all.'"

" _So_?"

"TheOni, Lloyd...They are _all_ marching on the monastery."

Lloyd's stomach bottoms out.

 _"Zane? Lloyd? Please, what is happening?"_ Pixal pleads.

Any pretense of keeping quiet dropped, Lloyd shouts into the comm, "We're going back. Now!"

Pixal hauls the three of them up within minutes, Jay thrusting the accelerator the moment they're onboard. She nearly falls out of the mech from the propulsion and her own hurry to get to Cyrus. She screams for him, begging him to come back, and Lloyd digs his gloved nails into his arm to keep from breaking down at the bitingly familiar pain in her voice. After pointless attempts to make her father respond to her, she wheels him to the sleeping quarters where they moved Cole.

Lloyd watches after her then glances to Jay. After updating the others at the monastery on their change of plans, he's still at the helm. He stares heartbroken over the rushing clouds, his brows drawn tight with worry. Lloyd climbs up the ladder, meeting him in the middle as he steps away from the wheel, and rests a hand on his shoulder. "Jay, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He slips a Yin-Yang Promise medallion from his gi folds and clutches it to his chest.

Lloyd looks at it with surprise but doesn't have to put two-and-two together. "You want to ask Nya to be your _yang_?"

"Yeah." He sniffs, closing his eyes.

It's a point of light for them in the dark. "That— that's great, Jay!"

From the lower deck, Zane says, "I'm certain she will say yes."

Jay laughs a little and answers, "Thanks. I kept trying to find the right time, but," he regards Lloyd, "Just, yeah. Maybe after all this." He puts it back, and the two follow Zane to the cabin.

Pixal's placed Cyrus in front of the closet beside Cole's bed. Jay sits at the center table beside her where she leans, head in her hands. Both he and Zane touch her shoulders in concern before the latter turns his attention to Cole. His outstretched right arm was going to stop them from laying him down properly, so they moved his pillow to the other end of the bed. A strong part of Lloyd hoped that just being out of the cloud would bring him back, but he hasn't moved an inch.

Zane tries to gently push Cole’s arm back against his body, but then he frowns, jaw setting. He applies force, and Lloyd could retch because Cole’s arm audibly _cracks_ into place as though he were a rigorous corpse. But he can't be dead. Zane said he isn't hurt that bad, otherwise the darkness wouldn’t have taken him. Right?

That little bell in his head continues to _chime chime _,_ chime chime_.

"I think— I think I can..." he breathes as he gathers a finite green galaxy in his palm, stepping closer. Zane backs out of his way. He sets his charged hand on Cole's shoulder, looking at the other as he builds more power before resting it on Cyrus's arm. Then he's staring up at a shimmering emerald expanse that bursts into an empty, pitch black space. Bolts of his power shoot from his feet in all directions with each step he takes, and he's hit with a profound understanding of where he is. The space feels like Cole in every square inch of it. He wonders distantly if it would be red, blue, or titanium if it were one of them.

When he focuses, he can see images — Cole's memories. He's climbing a tall mountain, dancing on a full stage, battling through skeleton warriors, throwing an even match, remembering an old ghost, protecting a lost little master. But no matter how many people surround him, he's alone.

"Cole?" Lloyd calls, voice echoing. "Buddy, I'm right here! Can you hear me?"

He's wrong about the place being empty.

An enormous monster of a fish breaches the mindscape like an ocean, propelling straight for him. There's no way that thing's his brother, so he tries to blast it with energy, but it doesn't even acknowledge the blow. It's just two dives away. He throws his arms up over his face.

Cole materializes from the black and punches the fish off course with an orange glowing fist. He collapses flat on his knees as it vanishes into copper dust.

"Cole!" Lloyd runs over, crouching in front of him. He laughs, beyond ecstatic to see him alive, but Cole can't seem to look at him in return. He stares blind with eyes shrouded in ink, lashes of the Oni's darkness snaking out of them. "Can— can you see me?"

"I can't- see _—_ _anything,_ " Cole answers in a choked sob. "I'm gone."

"It's you, Cole. You're still here."

The stable mindscape gives way under Lloyd's weight, making him sink as Cole stays solidly in place, gasping, "They took me. They took me away. I'm _alone_."

"You're not! Everyone's waiting for you," Lloyd yells, shaking him by the grip he has on his shoulders, but the black is heavy tar dragging him down. Cole bends forward from the movement rather than pull him back, unaware of what's happening. "You have to wake up!"

Cole just panics, lost and alone in himself.

"Please, Cole, help me!" he manages before it's like he's shoved underwater. He can still see Cole above him, but he can't call out to him. He can't breathe.

Cole bows on his straightened arms, holding himself up, and then he's _seeing_ Lloyd because crystal blue light from his eyes chases out the dark. "Lloyd!" he shouts. He bangs on the mindscape still solid for him. Then he winds his arm back, channeling lava into it, and sends his fist trailing copper and silver glitter through the black.

Cole's powerful scream reverberates in Lloyd's mind as he's flung back into it. He registers the ship's bulkhead, Zane's concerned face swimming out of focus as he says something unintelligible, then he turns because he _has_ to see Cole.

He doesn't get the chance because his vision pitches sideways before blacking out entirely.

* * *

His sensors dialed up as they are at the moment, Zane is alerted when Lloyd's heart rate escalates dangerously inside his visibly palpitating chest. Black tendrils crawl out from his glowing eyes and up his wrists alight with energy, but though Zane is afraid for him, Lloyd does not look consumed by it. Resolute instead. And it pays when his power banishes the darkness and erupts over Cole and Cyrus’s bodies.

"Deeper breaths, brother. Please, you must—" Zane says frantically, reaching for him, but he is ignored. The leg Lloyd steps with does not complete the motion, giving out with his vocal exhale. Expecting it, Zane catches him around the shoulders and kneels on the floor.

"Oh my gosh, Lloyd!" Jay yells, jumping up from the table. "Is he okay?"

"He..." Zane quiets so he can scan Lloyd's vitals. His respiratory rate and heartbeats per minute stabilize, steadily returning to healthy paces. Worry diminished, Zane says, "He's fine. Whatever that was must have been an overwhelming use of his power. He may recover shortly."

"But what did he do?" Pixal asks.

"Look!" Jay exclaims.

Cole is twitching, his color blossoming on his face, then he breathes like he was drowning.

* * *

In the next instant, someone calling his name guides Lloyd back. Time has to have passed, however, because he's lying in his bed across from Cole's. Zane leans over him. Not immediately seeing the brother he was just with, he gasps out, "Cole. How is—?"

" _Ooh_ , lemme go, Jay. Lloyd's awake," he hears that familiar, happy voice say. Knowing he doesn't need to answer, Zane smiles wide and makes room for the pair of giant arms to gather Lloyd up in a bear hug and swing him around. “Look what you did, ya' lil’green miracle worker!" Cole yells, the two laughing before he has to stop spinning. "Oh, _man _,__ that hurts." He grabs his head after practically dropping Lloyd, prompting Zane to put out both hands to steady them.

"Settle down, Cole. You are concussed," he says through his laughter, unable to stifle it.

"Not enough for those Oni jerks to stop me! They're gonna be _so_ sorry when I get my scythe back! _Gahaha_ , noise..." Cole complains, vigorously rubbing behind his ears.

"It's your own mouth, genius," Jay giggles. He's scrubbing away tears of relief.

Lloyd hasn't seen any of them this elated since they got back from the First Realm. He turns to a sound behind him. It's Pixal trying to share in their joy, smiling softly at them, but she holds her father's frozen hand. "Pix," Lloyd says, crestfallen. "I'm sorry. Maybe if I give it another shot." He approaches Cyrus, charging his hand, but Pixal closes her fingers over his, putting out the spark.

"I thank you, Master Lloyd, but we do not know how it will affect you. You were incapacitated for only a few minutes, but it may be worse the next time."

"Well, I dunno about you guys, but I want some fresh air," Cole says after their somber moment, heading for the door. Lloyd and Jay follow him out to the bridge, Zane opting to stay with Pixal.

"We should call the monastery and find out if they've seen any Oni," Lloyd says.

"Yeah, and tell the others the good news," Jay agrees as he climbs to the upper deck. Cole slowly moves partway to the bow, relishing in the wind through his hair. Lloyd sticks close to him.

Nya answers the phone, explaining that Kai's almost finished the weapons and that there's been no sign of the army yet. Jay starts to tell her what happened, but Cole waves his arms, making shushing noises in his throat. He mouths 'surprise' and smirks. Jay laughs nervously but goes along with it, ending the call with, "Yeah, okay, I'll just see you soon, Nya. I love you."

And very, very, driven-nearly-to-tears surprised she is when they get back. She could crush Cole to death with how tight she hugs him, Lloyd finding out just strong she is next.

The reunion's bliss has to pass, though, because they're under siege soon afterwards.

He can't restrain his shock when his father joins the Tornado of Creation, but he's grateful right down to his core because Garmadon's power is the dot of destruction they need for creation to eradicate the Omega.

The Oni Lord's death banishes every last member of its army to a pocket realm they can never escape. Then Lloyd's own power soars out of the Tornado across the realms. What he lacked before to save Cyrus, he has now from Pixal through Zane, and it's the same for the rest. Ed and Edna through Jay and Lou through Cole, Skylor and Ronin through Kai and Nya, Faith's people through her from Master Wu, branching on and on from one person to their connection with the next until each soul in every realm touched by darkness feels his power. Their minds merge with his. He's experiencing their fears and hopes all at once as he guides everyone back into the light.

One by one, they wake up.

The others hold their power together, strengthening his.

Garmadon does, too, but he's not a spinning tornado. He's a black hole. It's too much, and Lloyd can't escape it.

And he's _losing_ something.

"Don't," he tries to scream. _Dad, let go! Don't take it, please! You have to let me go!_

He can almost swear Garmadon says something back. It might have been that infuriating word, but he's so dizzy, overwhelmed, he can't see or hear anything beyond the encircling light and sound. Then there's a piercing ring in his ears and dust in his eyes. Then there's nothing at all.

He pops up in a beautiful meadow under the nose of the first dragon he summoned.

* * *

They're alive. They've won. But he... "He's not moving!"

She promised to protect him, and she failed _._ There's still breath in her body but not in his.

She failed him, and she _wishes_.

_Please._

She failed.

She failed.

She failed.

_Let her fix it._

She failed him _again_.

She—

He gasps.

* * *

Lloyd recognizes the offer’s implication. He saw the remains, there in the First Spinjitzu Master's tomb.

He tosses a handful of golden flower petals into the breeze, remembering when his atoms were that color.

Yeah, he gets what it means. Yet in this tranquil place, Ninjago feels so far away already. He knows that he loved it, being that it's where his family is, and he loves them more than anything, but then again, his _family_ is there.

Garmadon.

And if he goes with his grandfather, he won’t have to face the risk of becoming like _him_. He’ll be safe from anyone else who crawls out of the woodwork to hurt him over destiny’s lousy sense of humor.

> _"There's more to life than surviving!"_

Really, his answer existed before the question.

Blinding light flares across his mind as he smiles and takes the First Master’s hand. He's gold again, his soul housed in a petal drifting from the grasslands. He finds himself floating above his noisy realm, dragon wing-beats resounding through the air that carries him. It’s not the raging, vengeful wind that was once forced through his body, but the life breath of peace — true green freedom from ever again having to fight or _resist_ or kill someone to save his world. He's supposed to know something about that, but the peace is such a welcome smokescreen that he doesn't care.

He’s seeing the live wired city connecting to the reluctantly mastered sea feeding into the smoldering desert scattering through the deep snow forests shielding the hearty mountains in a vast circle of time, but not just that. History of the land flashes across his awareness, like monastery murals laying out a long story of first victories and hard taken losses.

Zane acts with so much reckless consideration for everyone that it burns. Over and over and _over_ again, but he’s creeping tenacity incarnate, ice to soothe broken hearts.

Cole loses himself in the dark wilderness, felling trees, falling spiritless on forgiving earth.

Jay’s crying. He's broadcasting just how _fine_ he is through power lines and making promises he can keep.

Nya.

Nya?

She can’t even move. She’s supposed to flow and never stop, isn’t she? But she's hanging back, flying back. She came back?

_She's standing there with her arms held wide and gold reflecting in her eyes, screaming, "Do it!"_

_And Lloyd_ _—_

Kai pours his fire out over red paint, left subdued, _quiet_ without it. He reshapes ancient gold and human faces because...

> _"What else is there for us to do? Give up?"_

They always recovered because their losses have yet to fail at returning, but they were shells of themselves until then, and they're hurting now in a ring surrounding him. He's _making_ them _feel_ like that _again_. Apparently, hollowing out the people he loves most is the best he can do for them.

So, he must be the worst then, and they'll learn how to move on. Ninja masters mean to teach, don't they?

They won't learn. They've proven they can't. _He's_ proven it, too. He failed to be the example for them, the ones who know what he did, at least. They're going to fall apart like they have every time.

But they're all standing on their own feet this time. Nya and Jay will get married and start a family they'll never give up. Zane and Pixal will still have each other long after everyone's passed away, and they'll watch over their children, every generation until their shared power source burns out. Maybe Kai and Cole will open blacksmith and bakery shops beside Skylor's noodle house. And his parents, his uncle — they'll fall back into the pattern they had before. Before he became the Green Ninja. He won't be there, but it's okay. His absence was part of that pattern, after all.

Yeah, they'll be okay. They'll move on. He'll move on and get to be _okay_.

They _will_ be okay.

Everyone will...?

The petal spits him back into his body with a too-fast rush of air through his battered ribcage.

He can't figure out if there's a fog lifting over his mind or falling down on it. He just wonders why his friends cheer so loud since he's almost positive he's not supposed to be here. He's alive, "But the First Spinjitzu Master..." said he could go, right? But that fog is heavy, or was, or— Oh. Oh god, he almost did something _horrible_. What did he do? _What did—_ Then he's ushered inside out of the sun and given a chance to breathe clear, and he remembers that the Oni are gone. They won.

Creation sure knows how to leave a mess.

He collects broken shingles with the others, but his hands shake so badly that more slip out of his grasp than make it to the trash. He gives up trying and stands still in the sunniest place he can find. The stupid sun isn't _close_ enough, so he glares at it like he can will the thing to crash down on him. He probably could as the Ultimate Master.

Master Wu saves his eyesight by grasping his shoulder. "Perhaps it would be wise for you to sit this cleaning job out."

"I can do it."

"It wasn't a suggestion." He points to Lloyd's room with his staff.

Normally he'd be angry for being treated like a child, but he just, he doesn't have it in him. As he trudges inside, his sandal catches on the veranda. Wu, having followed him, grabs his arm and pulls him upright. He doesn't care if the others saw it. He only cares about the sunny spot on his bed. Wu starts sliding the door shut, but that'll block the light. "Don't," Lloyd bites, quickly adding, "Please."

Wu stops, his eyes a little wide. Pushing the door back, he asks, "How do you feel, Lloyd?"

Drawing in steady breaths, he braces his hands on his knees and takes stock of himself. He can deal with the aches, but he hates that he's freezing in the middle of summer. "I-I'm...really cold."

Frowning, Wu steps up beside him and rests the back of his hand on his forehead. Taking his hand back, he sighs, saying, "Some tea will help."

Lloyd shakes his head, swallowing what tries to leave his stomach at the idea. "Can I just borrow that book you showed us?"

Wu taps a finger on his staff. "Yes. One moment."

Lloyd folds over himself after Wu leaves.

Outside, Jay says, "Hey, you're hurt, too. You can get out of work like Lloyd."

Cole answers, "Nah, I'm good. Lifting this stuff feels great, and I think the Tornado fixed my head right up."

"Oh, did it, Cole? It fixed _your_ head? Now there's the real miracle!"

"Wha— Not like that," Cole sputters. "Miss _yang_ , please tell your dumber half to be nice to his friends. His friend who almost died, I might add."

"I'm not getting in the middle of this," Nya laughs. "Wait, are you calling me dumb?"

"No, no, I meant you're the 'better'! _He's_ the dumb one! Him!" Cole then shrieks like he's being chased, wood clattering on stone and a weak lightning bolt brightening the room.

He sits up and generates an electric spark of green, staring close at it.

Something happened in the Tornado — _or finished happening_. Garmadon saved him under the cloud, but he _argued_ with him first to power up a blast against the Oni. Since that, he's felt compromised, and now his energy stutters in his hand. It seems fractured, incomplete without its stable flicker of light. The room's starting to spin, so he clenches his fist over the spark. Whatever he lost left a hole that bleeds cold into the rest of him like an open wound, the same as before. He barely remembers that night, at best not the part after he lost the battle, but maddening coldness isn't easy to forget when it's all he had for hours.

Master Wu comes back with the book on Oni lore. "Are you sure you won't drink something?" he asks as Lloyd flips a page open.

Lloyd nods once, scanning for anything that talks about the power of destruction. "Where's my father?"

"He has moved on. To where, I do not know," Wu informs with too much poise for such a dangerous turn of events.

Lloyd smacks the book, snapping his eyes to his uncle in disbelief. "You let him just _walk away_?"

"It is what was best for everyone. For you."

"What's best for me," he mutely shouts, "is knowing that he's not _out there_ somewhere wreaking havoc on people." He tries to stand, to go find his father himself, but Wu nudges him back down.

"Please have faith. If I thought that is what he planned, I would not have let him go."

If those words are meant to comfort him, they don't, but he sits still. He can't move very well anyway. "Then— then what _is_ he planning?"

" _Faith_ , Master Lloyd. Trust that the fog will clear when it is meant to."

Lloyd screws his eyes shut. "You say that like I'm supposed to put it off until tomorrow."

"You are. Today is for recovery."

He sighs, releasing his tight grip on the edges of the book and his bed. Fine, he can handle that. But _only_ for today. Maybe.

* * *

"Kai," Misako says, shouldering a pack as she comes out of the gate. "Would you ask Lloyd if there's anyone he wants me to invite to the mural's dedication ceremony while I'm in the city? It slipped my mind."

He drops his armful of debris in the garbage, tossing, "Sure," as he bounds back inside. Boy, he loves getting out of cleaning. Master Wu's coming out of Lloyd's room when he hops onto the veranda.

"Oh, Kai," he starts, "Good. I was just about to go find you."

Brow raised, Kai tilts his head as he steps down the creaky walkway.

Wu shuffles to him, a short distance from the door. His voice low, he explains, "I would like you to sit with Lloyd a while. Are you able to do that now?"

"Uh, yeah. He's okay, right?" Kai asks it kind of on reflex. He's honestly expecting Wu to answer with an equally quick 'yes,' but he gets a shock of cold blood instead.

"No. Not just yet." Noticing his upset, Wu only takes a second to elaborate, "He needs to feel your elemental power, then he should be back to himself."

It's not the worst news he's heard today. At least there's hope for whatever this situation is and something he can do about it, even if the request is a bit confusing, but Kai's about tired of being scared for his brothers. He catalogues Cole laughing with the others in the courtyard and gives Wu a determined nod. Wu pats his shoulder, leaving him to it.

"Knock, knock," he announces, leaning into the room.

His back to Kai, Lloyd sits on the end of his bed, staring at something in his lap. He turns, and he looks fine. He says, "Hey," like he's normal, but his eyes seem to go right through Kai. He swears they flicker black for a second.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just..." Lloyd's hands come up around his arms, and shrugging, he looks at the floor to give Kai his profile. He's even shivering like a wet cat for good measure.

Wu and the elemental power thing makes a little more sense. "Cold, huh? I got something for that." Tugging off his gloves, he joins Lloyd at the foot of the bed, twisting to look at him and saying with a plastered grin, "So, how do ya' like your fire? I can do a bonfire in the middle of the floor here, but, uh, we just got this place back together, so. Um. Candles are fine, but they don't put out the best heat." He ticks off fake ideas with little ignitions on his fingertips. "I got all kinds of fire. Oh, but you'll need Jay if you want electrical."

Lloyd laughs at him, a short chuckle through his nose.

It's something at least. Kai's grin grows more genuine. "Nah, I know." He sends the candlelights into a ring in the air that blends them into a bigger flame, Lloyd transfixed by it with patient, squinty-eyed amusement. Then he catches it between his palms, rubbing his hands together until the fire's extinguished but not its heat. Hands up, he wiggles his fingers for a drumroll before snatching Lloyd's arm from the open book he's holding.

"Oh, wow." He laughs out loud this time. "That's nice."

"Ah? Like that?"

Lloyd turns his arm over, asking, "When'd you learn this?" as Kai presses warmth into his wrist with a thumb.

"The training regiment you put us on gave me leg cramps," Kai supplies, gliding one hand along the limb. He keeps the other around Lloyd's forearm so his sleeve doesn't bunch up and smirks at him slouching into the circles Kai rubs on his shoulder. "Better than any heating pad, right?"

Lloyd nods, shutting his eyes with a smile and straightening so Kai can reach his back.

"Heh, alright, but don't get used to it. We don't need to go spoiling our favorite Green Ninja." There's no, "I'm your _only_ Green Ninja," in response like Kai hopes for. Lloyd just smooths his now-freed hand down the page he'd been looking at, finding his place on it. Kai bites back his huff, grudgingly sharing his attention with the task he started. He's not surprised to discover a metric level of stress knots in the kid's muscles, but he still says, "Jeez, ya' ever relax?"

Turning the page, Lloyd does that short chuckle again, only now it's got a tinge of bitterness to it.

Kai wishes he would quip back already, but he's too captivated by that book. Standing on his knees, Kai narrows his eyes at it. He can't follow most of its old text and sits back down, asking, "So, what'cha reading?"

Lloyd flips a few pages and holds it up for him, a drawing of an Oni glossed in purple ink appearing.

"Oh," Kai says in recognition. "Uh, did you forget we got them already?"

"I'm trying to understand how my father's power works," Lloyd half-deadpans, the other half of his tone a little worrying for how it seems to carry fear.

"Huh. Why?"

"Just a hunch, but... _mh_." Lloyd shakes his head and closes the book, setting it aside as Kai concentrates his knuckles on a stubborn knot.

He doesn't like this. It reminds him too much of that day in Mistaké's shop. Plus, well, he's giving someone who isn't Skylor a literal massage. It's weird, and Lloyd's not making it better by being so quiet. But Kai can feel how chilled his skin is through his thin gi, and with the way Wu's acted since they pulled him from the rubble, the distance he still has right now, the whole combination's unsettling for its own reason. So he sucks up his embarrassment and keeps running his hands over Lloyd's shoulders, down his arms and back again over his shoulder blades, working his unlit fire into the coiled muscles. Soon, Lloyd's breathing stretches out with his body's melting tension.

After a bit of that, Kai starts to relax, too. He hasn't got to do this kind of affectionate caretaking since Nya was tiny, and if it's really helping, he'll do it for as long as Lloyd needs.

Lloyd lets him, finally breaking the silence after a minute. "Not that I'm complaining, but why are you doing this?"

Guess it can't hurt to explain himself. "Sensei asked me to."

"He asked...? Hmm. What..." He holds his hands to his chest, wringing his wrist. "What happened to me?"

"I— He, um..." Lloyd's buried under red. He's heavy, then he's lying completely still on the cobblestone. And in the Tornado, Kai _felt_ the power Lloyd used, and he remembers seeing his brother's face in his head just before they all broke apart. He looked like that terrified kid who guided Kai to his true potential. A child powerless to save himself, devoured by fire. Kai stops his movements, trying to force the images to the back of his mind. "He thought you were dead. We all did. You'd think Master Wu would know how to find a pulse, but I guess stress messes with—"

"I think I was."

Kai's fire sears too hot, making Lloyd hiss. "My bad," he says hurriedly, reigning the heat back and swiping his palms over the places he almost burned. It's fine. Even if he was, Lloyd's here now, and it's _fine_. He's not gonna worry about the logic of that, because _obviously_ Lloyd's wrong. So, just, "What makes you say that?"

"Dunno. Can't remember." He rubs his forehead, dropping his hand and sighing after a few seconds thought. "It's slipping away."

Kai's gonna be sick. None of this makes sense, and he doesn't know what to do with the dread building in his guts. So he focuses on getting his brother warm again. Action. He's good at that.

Lloyd's still good at not talking, probably because after awhile, he's leaning with the slight pushes the massage creates, snapping back up before he falls over, then sinking again in a loop that makes Kai tired just watching it.

Kai can't help snickering at him and asks, "Fallin' asleep, bud?"

He takes in a deep breath, humming, "Mhm."

Kai can hear the smile, and though it's kinda hard to tell, his skin's starting to generate its own heat like it's supposed to. "Okay, why don't _you_ take a nap," he pats Lloyd's back once, standing. " _I_ am gonna find some food before my stomach finishes me off, and I'll get you before the ceremony." He puts his gloves on as he heads for the door. "Which, duh, reminds me," he flicks his head, "Your mom asked if there was anyone you wanted here for that tonight."

"No, it's fine. Just you guys."

"Cool then. See ya' in—"

"Kai," he interjects, shaky and urgent.

He halts his exit. Lloyd's nervousness rubs off on him, so all he can do is school his face into something that resembles calm questioning.

Lloyd's gathering the blanket in a tight fist, scooching around the bed so he doesn't have to break his spine looking at Kai. He takes another deep breath. "I-I'm sorry."

His shoe grazes the floor mat. "For what?" he asks, eyes searching his memory for anything his brother should be apologizing for.

"I just- I feel like I needed to say it. And I'm sorry about my father- I shouldn't have- And- And before, when you- the others- I almost made a, um, a bad choice. Nya- The Resistance- I—"

Kai treads back to Lloyd's side as he struggles to get the words out. It's hurting him because the lack of confidence isn't right for Lloyd, and he looks like he might cry if he keeps stumbling on them. Dropping his hands on his shoulders, Kai stops his rambling, saying, "Hey, look, whatever it was, it's in the past, right? It's okay." He squeezes his shoulders twice, smiling with reassurance. "Did you learn from it?"

Panting a little, Lloyd looks him in the eye for a second, glancing away and scrunching his brows like he's asking himself. He nods and looks back, features hardened with resolve.

"Then you're golden." He gently boxes Lloyd's ears, cataloguing the sight of gigantic, _steady_ green eyes. "Now, would ya' get some rest so I can go stuff my face?"

"Careful with that," Lloyd admonishes with a laugh, shaking his head out of Kai's hands. "Or I'll have to make you live in the training yard."

"You better not!" he yells back as he ruffles Lloyd's hair three times in retaliation, making his escape. He slides the door shut, and instead of heading for the kitchen, he hunts down Master Wu. He's gonna _make_ the old man spill everything he knows because Kai, of all people, understands that where there's smoke, there's fire. He is going to _stamp_ that fire out because _he_ is its master, and _it_ doesn't get to hurt his baby brother.

And Lloyd doesn't get to suffer the consequences of other people's selfish choices any longer. Kai won't let him. _That's_ his job.

* * *

After the ceremony, Jay is sweeping the ground in front of the mural when Zane steps out to speak with him. "Jay, may I ask for a favor?"

"Sure, but if it's to let you beat my _Lava Zombie_ high score, the answer is still no." Jay points the broomstick at him as if it were a sword. "It will forever be no, Zane."

Amused, Zane says, "That is not it," and bats the broom away. He clarifies, "I would like your help in restoring my former ability to cry."

"Oh! Um, yeah, okay. I can do that. Did your dad leave any instructions for it?"

Zane reviews his memory. He has already gone over it several times with Pixal's assistance, but he looks once more anyway, turning up nothing. "He did not. The mechanic was not included in my original blueprints. I'm unsure why."

"Eh, weird. A last minute idea, maybe? Well, I mean, it can't be too hard. A little tubing, water compartment, or," he runs his hand on the broomstick in thought, then continues, "Maybe we can connect it to your powers with heaters instead of tear ducts. You can frost your eyes when you wanna, you know, and they'll melt it, then bam, tears."

Though reasonably surprised, Jay does not question the request. He simply understands it and carries on rambling potential ways to grant it. Zane gives him an appreciative smile and says, "I am grateful, but if we _were_ discussing your high score," he closes his eyes in mock consideration, "by my calculations, I will beat it." Opening them, he adds with a challenging smirk, "Tonight."

"Oh, you're on!" Jay howls, racing him inside.

His brothers, sister, and soulmate gather around them for a night of video games and victorious celebration, and with them, he feels a little more human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, you decide if i actually did handle it better (and let me know if i did!). everyone likes to make him an oni or actually dead and i don't LIKE that i want everyone to be HAPPY so take this you major character death obsessed GREMLINS aaagh!!!
> 
> anyway, ch4 will be out eventually but i want to focus on my other ninjago fics and get them out too first. if you like this chapter or 'morro is lloyd's cousin' AUs, keep an eye out for them :D


	4. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S11-Fire. Kai's forcibly given a chance to do things differently. Of course it's gonna go how you'd expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (lyrics from ["When You Were Sweet Sixteen"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-hLuTYZOFA) by The Mills Brothers appears in this chapter)
> 
> it's probably important to note that my headcanon is that Lloyd was 7 when he used the Tomorrow's Tea, which aged him five years. Cole (slightly older) and Kai were 15, Jay 14, and Nya 13. it's been about four years since then to s11 (not counting skybound), making Lloyd 15 during s8/9/10.
> 
> We know it was New Year's at the start of SoG, and now they're in late September

"Hey, Skylor, can I, uh, can I talk to you for a minute?" Lloyd asks, even though he's been sitting there at her front counter for a minute already.

"Mmm, depends." She works through cleaning up as she rattles on, "What are you willing to trade? Telling me about the weather costs ten years off your life. I'll need your soul for personal questions."

He chuckles through a sip of his coffee, a bit nervous.

She's never known any of the ninja to drink the stuff, but they _do_ have a long, chilly night ahead of them before trading it to sleep during the day, as they all agreed to do for this. You know, like healthy people. It's not as if the caffeinated tea she has in stock would be much healthier anyway, so she didn't suggest it over the coffee when he ordered it. She puts away a plate, saying, "I'm kidding. Is this about what you saw? In my head?"

"Um, yeah actually." He sets the mug down, folding his arms. "Am I that easy to read?" he questions, giving her a weak grin.

"Not really. I just have a practiced eye for these things." She leans on the counter and gifts him a wink. "You understand."

"Sorry, if it's too personal, I don't—"

"It's _okay_ , Lloyd," she laughs. "Think of me as your personal bartender right now, and I'm all ears." She throws a white towel over her shoulder to complete the look.

It gets another smile out of him, but then the weight of what she knows he's about to ask drags it down. "It's just," he takes a breath, looking away. "How do you handle the...the fear of that?"

She sighs, glancing at the ceiling in consideration. "Well, most days now, I don't think about it, but when I catch myself saying something he might have said, or, you know, done, I take the steps to do the opposite." She leans back down closer to him, being sure to have him looking her in the eye. "But the most important thing is reminding myself that, in spite of his best efforts, I'm still not him." Straightening, she swipes the towel across the countertop and adds, "Oh, not anymore in my case. That counts for a lot."

He rakes his eyes over the counter and finishes his drink. "For what it's worth, you never were," he states. He keeps the rest of those thoughts he's mulling over to himself, out of view of criticism.

"Thanks, but it's not something to get so hung up on." She takes the mug and saucer to the dishwasher, saying, "Chin up, kiddo, this is the last day you'll want to be gloomy."

Nya appears at the door, whining, "What are you two doing? Let's _go_ ," even stomping her feet. There's a commotion outside that she turns back to and shouts, "Hey! Do not!" as she runs to stop whatever trouble the boys are getting up to.

"I had no idea she could get excited about anything besides building stuff," Skylor says, wiping down the counter one more time.

Lloyd chuckles, responding brightly, "If you're tired of dull moments, just hang out with us more." Stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket as he stands, waiting on her, he continues, "I still don't know where they get all their energy from."

"Really? You don't know?" She rolls her eyes at him, grabbing her keys on their way out.

"You say that like it should be obvious."

"Oh, Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd," she croons, shaking her head as she locks the door behind them. It's endlessly amusing to her that the Master of Energy could be so dense about his own element even after using it like he did two months ago, but he's still young. He'll learn.

The thing is, it took him doing that for her to get a glimpse of its nature. Though destruction was too strong, too _consuming_ for her to control, she understood it. She imagines creation wouldn't be difficult to grasp either. It's just a matter of one giving while the other takes, and that's all they are. Energy, however...she's absolutely tried, but she's never been able to copy it. It's _too_ broad. It endures in the way only fleeting, important things can and has no real limits, like an ever expanding universe. Somehow, everything that lives has a personal stake in it.

And if she's honest with herself, that kind of power scares her. It's probably by the First Spinjitzu Master's design that her element seems to have never been meant to touch Lloyd's.

Redirecting the subject, he raises his eyebrow and asks, "Bartender though?"

She scoffs and says, "I'll get back to you on that in five years," gesturing for him to move ahead of her to the anchored _Destiny's Bounty_. She hopes the world lets him see that day _without_ needing to come to her for anything stronger than coffee.

* * *

It's the evening before Lloyd's Sweet Sixteen-ish, and he is _going_ to have a good day, well, night, even if Nya has to _kill_ somebody. Okay, granted that wouldn't make things better if it came to that, Lloyd would hate to see it, but, like, not the point. She's saved up for the past month to make sure they could afford to do something special with him. Miss-gainfully-employed-and-heiress-to-a-fortune Skylor chipped in as well, which is admittedly part of the— okay, the main reason everyone could go, so she's along with Pixal and the civvies-clad ninja as the big group crosses the gate into Mega-Monster Amusement Park.

"But why are we doing this now instead of tomorrow, on the actual day?" Jay had asked shortly after leaving the noodle house.

"Many cultures," Pixal informed him, "consider sundown the beginning of the next day."

Nodding to her for the anthropology fun fact, Nya revealed the actual reason, joking, "Not to mention that _this one_ decided to be born on the start of the weekend," as she wrapped a blindfold around Lloyd's head, giving him a nudge.

"Yeah, that's what I did," he laughed, rubbing the cloth over his eyes.

And Nya commends herself on the great idea to go on a weeknight because there's almost no one else in the park clogging up the lines or crowding the watchtower.

"You guys know this is pointless, right? I can hear the rides," Lloyd says with a grin, gripping Kai's shoulder so he doesn't trip on anything.

"Oh, just pretend to be surprised," Kai tells him as he gently yanks him out of the path of a rabid child. "Man, we haven't been here in forever."

"Yeah, not since I reached my true potential," Jay says, waggling his eyebrows at Nya.

They both know well and good that they have, but it's not something the others remember, so she blows kisses at him with an eye roll to keep up the pretense.

Oblivious to it, Cole muscles between the two to survey the monster rides and boisterous, screaming activity. "Their website was right. They really _have_ expanded," he observes before freezing, staring to their left with dinner plate eyes.

"Uh, what's up with...?" Skylor starts.

"Just give him a second," Jay tosses over his shoulder as he steps away.

Then Cole whoops, throwing his arms up and howling, "I smell funnel cake!"

"Well, it _is_ a theme park," Zane chuckles.

"Dude, you just had cake at Skylor's," Kai says, completely vexed and holding his hand towards the other after slapping his own forehead.

"Man, let me live and give me the cash! I'm getting one right now. Nya!"

He tries to fight her for the scraps of game and snack money she brought, but she swats him away. "Not yet! We have to beat the sun," she reminds him.

"It will be setting in less than ten minutes," Pixal says.

Lloyd begs, "Can I at least take off the blindfold now?" and yelps as he's dragged more swiftly to the five-story watchtower overlooking the park, part of the expansion Cole pointed out.

"Nope!" they all shout back at him.

Along the way, Cole muses out loud, "I still remember the first time Dad took me to one of these. Eight year old me lost my mind."

"Hey, isn't it Pix's first time coming here, too?" Jay asks.

"That is correct," she says.

Jay giggles, continuing, "And you'll be what? Like three this year? Gosh, Zane, talk about cradle robbing!"

Slowing a little, Zane taps his chin and says, "I...did not steal anything from a cradle." He directs the hand to their voracious companion. "Was it not Cole who did?"

"He doesn't mean _rescuing_ babies, Zane," Cole says then lags behind with him, leaning over to whisper in his ear.

Zane jerks away, looking thoroughly offended at the explanation. He assaults Jay with, "I would never!" and gives Pixal a frantic, "I can explain," but he just gets laughed at, the two of them enjoying his persistent innocence way too much.

Nya figures she better save him. "Jay, quit messing with him and go hold that elevator for us, please."

"On it." He rushes ahead to the base of the tower and presses the arrow, the doors dinging open a moment later. He pokes his head in, yelling back to them from inside, "There's not a whole lot of room in this thing."

"Race ya'!" Cole shouts immediately, tearing through the group. Wide-eyed, Zane and Pixal run after him, Skylor hot on their heels next. With Kai still guiding Lloyd, he's slow to catch up, and though Nya reaches it at the same time as Cole, there really isn't that much space, at least not enough that she can be sure he won't be able to pickpocket her. Jay's squished against the far wall with a _gak!_ when the other four pile inside. The nindroids shrug as Cole victory bops, Skylor beside him snickering at the three left outside.

"Sky!" Kai moans.

"Sorry, honey. You gotta be faster than that," she says with a smirk as the doors finish closing.

Kai huffs before both Nya and he notice there's just the two of them left out. "Oh great, I lost Lloyd."

Nya searches around, quickly spotting him and pointing. He's found the stairs perpendicular to the elevator, hustling up without missing a step.

"What are you doing, man?" Kai says to his back, sighing.

"We had to hurry, right?" he asks, a little too proud of his accomplishment.

Kai watches him kind of dumbfounded, then purses his lips before deciding, "He can see."

"He can totally see," Nya agrees, crossing her arms, followed by calling, "Lloyd, are you peeking?"

He turns, keeping pace backwards, answering, "'Course not. I'm a _ninja_ , remem—" His heel slips off the step, but he catches himself on the handrail. He laughs awkwardly in their general direction and turns back around, making his way up more carefully, hand still where it belongs for safety. The other two share head shakes, following after him.

Kai doesn't risk Lloyd falling down the stairs on their watch, hefting their little brother under protest across his shoulders like he's carrying a pole, and continues the race with Nya. Of course, he loses spectacularly.

"Geesh, what took you so long?" Cole quips when they make it to the top. "It was only five flights."

"Hah hah," Kai mocks as he deposits Lloyd on his feet. "At least we've worked off the funnel cakes we'll have later." He ends that with a backhand smack to Cole's belly.

Nya ignores Cole's flustered response, instead taking Lloyd's arm and leading him to an open space at the railing. "You have to experience how it's meant to look," she explains as she unties the blindfold. "There's nothing in the world like a theme park at night."

"Sure, sure," Lloyd says, not quite seeing the big deal but amused just the same. He squints at the light, then leans on the railing to look down at everything below them with a soft smile on his face. Mirroring him, Nya waits for the real show.

Right on time, the deep orange sun sets behind the mountain range. The loss of it could cast the park in darkness, but the whole place stays lit up with its signature red, blue, green, and yellow, vibrant blinking bulbs framing the rides and game booths. The most dazzling, the Ferris wheel bursts with flashy monster-shaped patterns. The dragon roller coaster crests over its tallest hill and flies through the synchronized network, each color a neuron firing off signals that promise a night filled with thrills.

Lloyd’s got that shell of grownup-ninja-master reservation he built around himself, yet he hunches down on the railing and bites his lip, a wild glint joining the colors in his eyes. Yeah, the eleven-year-old soul that she knows is still in there is going to have a _good_ day.

* * *

Of any rides in a theme park, it's the roller coaster that's the rite of passage. There was never a doubt it'd be a hit.

Cole's not exactly thrilled about the next one, but if he's being fair to Nya, the haunted house _would_ have to come in a close second. Mega-Monster's had what they call the 'Ghost Train' for years now, but they still haven't learned that four seats in the car isn't enough. There's two kids ahead of the ninja already when they get in line.

"Okay, Lloyd, you're going first, so you gotta pick one of us," Nya says. She's being such a little organizer today.

Expecting him to pick Kai, Cole moves a step over to Jay and Zane.

"I claim Cole!" Lloyd hollers. The others burst into half-serious complaints while he grins at the one he chose like a proud, innocent little kid.

Cole knows what Lloyd's been doing since they shared that mind meld. The responsible part of himself feels embarrassed by it, wishes Lloyd never saw him like that, but the other part, the side he keeps locked up on bad days, can't help but be grateful the whole thing happened in the first place. It's all, 'Like _you_ would've told someone how you felt anyway,' and he has to be rational and say back, 'Um, _duh_ ,' because that's what _responsibility_ means.

But bad days have been on the minimal lately, so he grins back and says, "You hear that, guys?" He bends down to pick Lloyd up by his legs, making a sack of potatoes out of him. "The birthday boy claims _me_."

"Oh, come on," Lloyd protests in exasperated betrayal, trying to wiggle out of Cole's hold. He gives up quick, propping his head with his elbow on his captor's back.

"Brought this on yourself, buddy," Kai snickers as the kids get let onto the ride.

Lloyd uses an extra layer of mockery for Kai's earlier version of the tone when he parrots, "Hah. Hah."

"We'll see you guys on the other side," Cole says as he slides into the seat behind the kids.

The ride's carnie glides into his view and stares him down in terribly masked annoyance, pointing...pointedly at the seat.

His grin growing sheepish, Cole releases Lloyd who turns over and slips down into the spot, the carnie slamming the bar over them before he's even comfortable. Then with the start button pressed, the car jolts forward and chugs along the tracks, through the heavy curtain, and on into the darkened passageway illuminated in neon green.

He's not sure what he was so worried about; the ride honestly isn't that bad. Yang made his temple way scarier, getting into people's heads the way he did and _keeping_ them there. It's gonna take more than a little jumpsc—

The kids shriek when Morro — _Morro!_ — flies down from the ceiling over the car, brandishing a sword and cackling. Cole throws his arms up, but rational brain kicks in before instinct pumps them full of lava. It's just a dummy, already gone. He laughs out his tense breath, saying, "Whoa, that one almost got me."

"Y-yeah," Lloyd says, a distinctly forced grin stretching his features. Oh boy, he's breathing a little too hard.

Well, Cole bets it's an easy fix. Lloyd was still a shrimp back then, but he grew a lot in the year they searched for Wu. That doesn't make him too big for Cole to put an arm around his shoulders, giving him a few jostling squeezes. "There should be a law or something about that, like, 'no depictions of actual bad guys in haunted houses,'" he says, quiet enough that the kids probably don't hear it over their own screams, writing the idea in the air.

"How'd they even get a recording of his laughter?" Lloyd mutters.

Cole drops his hand on Lloyd's head, bobbling it more than ruffling his hair before putting the arm back down. Lloyd seems to relax, his screamy laughter during the rest of the ride chasing away the very real fear he shouldn't have had to face.

Back outside, they wait for the guys to come out, the girls having taken the car after them.

"How'd you boys handle it?" Nya asks when the three roll into view, giggling at Jay's face, impossibly paler than it already is.

Kai saunters over to them, wearing a smirk as he folds his arms. "Wasn't scary at all," he says, a double-crossing tremor in his voice, "but Jay zapped all the ghosts."

"You tried to _melt_ the _metal bar_ while we were _under_ it! Under! It!" Jay screeches, Zane catching him from the backseat when he stumbles out of the car, laughing at him. "Tell them, Zane!"

"Well, uh, what about you guys?" Kai quickly directs to Cole and Lloyd.

Before the other can answer, Cole chimes, "Just you, bud. I'd say Mega-Monster's got work to do on this one."

"Man," Kai laments as Skylor pats his arm.

Lloyd bumps Cole's shoulder in gratitude as they follow the others to the next ride.

The couples take their obligatory round on the Ferris wheel, but the other wheel-shaped ride known as the "Ring of Fire," a kind of roller coaster that flips the riders upside down at the top sixty feet up, is Kai's turn with Lloyd. They nearly scream their voices hoarse, vowing to never do that again, but they're in line three more times anyway.

Pixal loves "Alien Abduction." No one has to give her the idea to stand straight on the wall, she just knows that's the only reason to get on that ride, but Cole and Kai step her up when they manage to flatten themselves on the ceiling.

Zane really enjoys the hall of mirrors, insisting he'll make photocopies of everyone's reflections, frame them, and leave the pictures in their rooms when they least expect it.

Nya wins Jay a little stuffed octopus in the hammer weight game. It's a light shade of maroon rather than blue, the only color the carnie had, but he says that makes it even better. They're lucky Cole let her go first because he breaks it — completely on accident! — the bell launching into the sky the near second he brings the hammer down.

Lloyd passes on the plushies, instead laser focusing on the dragon keychain he victoriously leaves the balloon darts booth with. He clasps it on his belt loop for safekeeping, looking very stylish.

A true connoisseur of classic rides, Skylor dominates the bumper cars and deems the scrambler as, "A deathtrap that's just begging for a lawsuit."

They take a glorious funnel cake break, hitting the second half of the park afterwards. As _important_ , thank you very much, as that was, it almost caused a crisis — Jay just about loses his midnight snack towards the end of the night when he takes Lloyd on the 300-foot drop tower, but he masters his nausea like a champ. The group congratulates him with hearty slaps on the back, naturally.

Life's been very...quiet since the Oni invaded. This outing, used both to celebrate another year they've had with Lloyd and to just get out of the house, is the kind of safe excitement Cole's been craving. For now, he's content and honestly wouldn't trade it for all the cake in the world.

Huh, maybe he's got a little too addicted to cake again.

* * *

The last ride they hop on is a spinning cup...shaped...thing that drifts across a lake built in the far end of the park. Lloyd's not sure what it's actually called, but a relaxing float on the water sure looks like a great way to end the night.

"Uhh, looks like couples only," Kai intones.

"Suits me fine," Skylor says, leading him to a red cup. Nya and Jay head for a blue one.

Cole opens an orange door, saying, "C'mon, Lloyd, the single's club is right this way," and gestures to the seat with a bow.

"Perhaps all of us can fit in that one," Zane says, pointing to a larger green one meant for families.

It's a tight fit, but the eight of them cram themselves on board. Once they reach the middle of the lake away from other people, Nya cycles the water while Kai, Cole, and Jay rotate the center wheel as hard as they can, attempting to simulate spinjitzu's speed for Pixal and Skylor's unasked-for benefit. It's not quite the same, though, and just makes everyone dizzy, so eventually the four collapse laughing into the seat.

Lloyd slouches down, fingers laced over his torso. Wearing dainty smiles, Zane and Pixal hold hands in the picture of grace. Kai rests his head on Skylor's shoulder, already half asleep, and Nya throws her legs over the side so she can lay hers on Jay's lap. He dances his octopus plush on her face, making her constantly giggle, "Quit it," until he does. With his arms spread across the cup's edge, Cole lazily spins the wheel with his foot as he leans his head back, humming an unfamiliar tune.

Curious, Lloyd asks, "What song is that?"

"An old one the Oppenheimer made us learn," Cole answers without opening his eyes. "Nya chanting 'sweet sixteen' for the past week made me think of it again, and now it's stuck in my head."

Nya snickers.

An idea sparking, Lloyd suggests with a grin, "Well, you know, it'll go away if you sing it."

"Oh, _no_ , Lloyd, please don't let him sing. The moment just got peaceful," Jay complains, but at least it's good-natured.

Lloyd snaps a sensei glare at him, smiling again as he looks back at Cole. "We wanna hear it."

"You heard the bird. Not a chance," he says, nudging Lloyd's head with his forefinger. " _You_ guys made fun of me last time."

"I promise we won't anymore," he tries, individually eyeing the team, but Cole doesn't budge, so he pokes his ribs, offering in a sing-song, "You'll be my favorite brother."

"Hey!" Kai protests, popping up. "I earned that title."

Skylor bats his head back down and cards her fingers through his hair, making him shut his mouth with an _mmph_. "Go on, Cole," she encourages. "I haven't had the chance to hear your singing yet."

Cole chuckles in his throat, a definite 'still no.'

"I believe if we repeat the word 'sing,' it will overpower his reluctance," Zane supplies.

Nya pounces on the suggestion, pumping her fists in the air as she chants, "Sing, sing, sing, sing!"

Cole still tries to refuse, shaking his head, but then Jay joins in the chant. Maybe that does the trick because he stops the movement and grins to himself, finally cracked. "Okay, okay, just gimme a sec to psyche myself up." Dropping his leg and sitting up, he clears his throat, forces a cough, then makes more obnoxious grunts and hacks, pounding his chest.

"Oh, just do it," Nya spurs, lightly kicking his shoulder.

Rolling his eyes, Cole fills his lungs, then with a low, smooth lilt, sings, _"I love you as I never loved before...since first I met you on yon village green."_

He's actually pretty good when he's not surrounded by gangsters that want him dead.

_"Come to me 'ere my dream of love is o'er."_

Cozying up, the nindroids and Promised pair move closer together, Skylor swaying to the melody as Kai nuzzles her. Lloyd settles back as he was, tilting his face to the stars bright enough to shine through the park's colorful lights.

_"I love you as I loved you...when you were sweet..."_

He closes his eyes.

_"When you were sweet...sixteen."_

Maybe this is what peace feels like.

The next battle knocks on their door not long after that. Well, rather it's more like Master Wu forces them to go demolish the battle's door, and to no surprise for Lloyd, it's just another bad guy's personal grudge he gets to deal with. In fact, the evil shouldn't even exist, but he failed to stop Jay and Nya from messing with that puzzle lock before they figured out what it was for. He's their leader. The blame for all of it lies squarely on his shoulders.

And it's _strong_ , good at overpowering his team. It shouldn't be, but they're a rusty, uncoordinated mess, their reflexes lacking honed sharpness and common sense woefully depleted. He has to blame himself for that, too.

He picks his head up off the _Land Bounty's_ cabin door to look down at Kai who's finally stirring, a pained groan leaving his throat. "Guys, he's waking up."

The others turn in their seats, a mixture of happiness and worry on their faces. "Great," Cole says. "I was starting to get nervous."

"Hey, how do you feel?" Lloyd asks when Kai cracks his eyes open, blinking at the light.

"Like a million bucks," Kai rasps. He rubs his face, the hand traveling up to his hair, then he notices he's lying on the floor in Lloyd's lap, five pairs of eyes on him. "What's going on?"

"Aspheera left us for dead, but Pix got us out," Nya says, looking back to the road. "We're heading to the city now."

"Right." Kai moves his hand to the floor, bracing to push himself up.

"Kai..." The way the effort makes him shake bothers Lloyd too much, so he takes the bulk of helping Kai sit with the arm he already has under his shoulders, weakly continuing, "She took your powers."

"I know." He inches around to lean against the bulkhead beside Lloyd. Staring at his hands, he mutters, "It was like Chen's staff but— but worse. I-it felt like she was eating me alive." His fingers strain like he's trying to call up his fire.

Lloyd's chest tightens, and he wants to apologize or at least say something, but he's not sure how to help. Being a leader who reminds his team that there's a lesson to be learned in everything feels inappropriate right now, when it was _Lloyd's_ leadership that got them in this mess.

"So, what is she? A sorcerer like Clouse?" Jay muses to the group. "Or, uh, sorceress."

"That would be my estimation," Zane says. "My records show nothing about a race of Serpentine who utilized fire in such a way, so we can assume it was the same sort of dark magic that powered Chen's staff."

"Then stopping her is how he'll get his powers back," Cole says with hope, punching his palm.

Kai clenches his fists, shaking his head and whispering, "I don't think they're coming back."

"We won't let that happen," Lloyd assures, equally for Kai as it is for himself.

"In any case, it would be wise not to engage her alone," Zane drones on, straightening in his seat.

Lloyd holds his fist over his heart, watching with sympathy as Kai flexes his hands and shuts his eyes. It's _right there_ , a kindling of warmth through his veins. His brother shared his element with him when that part of his own was destroyed in their last battle. When he still had golden potential, he could, but this time, he can't give it back.

* * *

Once they make it out of Bernie's territory, Nya slows the _Land Bounty_ so Kai along with Cole can lead her into the city in their new vehicles. Lloyd gives him a look that's all nervous and concerned as he leaves the cabin, like he's asking Kai if he's up for this, and, um, _yeah_ , of course he is. Why should anyone be worried? He can drive a stupid car.

He can't defend himself though.

"Alright, everyone, spread out and track her down," Lloyd directs after they, _the others_ , wreck a dozen rampaging Pyro Vipers. "Kai, you're with me."

No, _Kai_ is sitting this one out before someone gets hurt over him. He makes it about his pride because if he thinks about that happening, he'll feel the loss even worse.

And maybe when Lloyd gives him that annoying, "Powers don't make a hero," platitude, Kai really should listen, but how can he say that right now? It's easy for him. He still has his special powers and everything, so he can't go talking like that thinking it'll make little powerless Kai feel better. He's too irritated to stop himself from pushing Lloyd away and saying as much, though not as harsh as he thought it.

If he looks hurt, Lloyd quickly wipes the expression off his face and insists, "That's not true. We need you."

But it _is_. Without his fire, he's no different from the scattering and screaming crowd. If regular people could be heroes, they've had _years_ to prove it. The common denominator here is pretty glaringly obvious.

And _they_ don't. His friends can handle things just fine without him. They're standing around arguing now instead of being lava food, aren't they?

Nya's lost her patience for it all. And then they leave, Jay going with her one way, Zane and Cole in the opposite. Just like that. A childish part of himself wants to be mad about it.

As he heads on, Lloyd looks back at him, pulling his hood into place and saying, "If you change your mind, you know how to find us."

He's heard _that_ before. He was beyond childish back then. He's _not_ anymore. It's also completely dumb of Lloyd to say it. Yeah, 'know how to find us,' no, that's the problem. Lloyd's about to go hunting down a renegade snake alone, who could be _anywhere_ in this city, and Kai doesn't have his stupid hood. He groans in frustration with himself and chases after his idiot brother.

Lloyd's speed falters when he notices the other, doing a double take. "Kai? You—"

Kai doesn't slow, moving ahead of him, explaining, "You heard Zane. If Aspheera can take more than just my powers, then you'll need someone..." he holds his arms out as he turns around, running halfway backwards, "off her radar watching your back."

Glancing from Kai to the street and back, Lloyd matches the other's pace as he faces forward. "I wasn't planning on fighting her alone," he offers, humor in his tone. "Scouting. That's it."

Kai's happy to hear that at least and goes in for the tease. "Oh, so you're saying you _don't_ need me. Gotcha," he pokes, drifting away.

"No!" Lloyd grabs his arm, pulling him back. "I'm really glad to have you on this with me."

Kai swallows a wave of nerves that hit him. He's not sure where the feeling comes from, but it makes him want to say, "It's just my job." Seriously, why is Lloyd having to ask anything of him? He's always had a rocky relationship with _initiative _,__ but he's grown more responsible than that, hasn't he?

Through the opening in his mask, Lloyd's brows lower in confusion. "I guess."

But that's that; the two drop the chitchat as they focus on finding Aspheera. By the direction all the serpents and terrified people seem to come from, Lloyd figures the army's based in the historic district downtown, but they've been running around it for a quarter of an hour with little sign of the snake witch turning up. Pixal provides an eye in the sky, but she's north of them with no luck either.

Kai's about to declare the whole thing pointless when Lloyd presses his hand to his hood, listening.

"What?" Kai asks.

"It's Nya. They ran into the commissioner. The police have a bead on Aspheera." He waits a second, then says to the com-link, "Kai and I are the closest to her. We'll— Yeah, he came with me. Just hurry up." There's a smile in his eyes that turns into a determined smirk, and Kai follows him to the relayed location.

They can hear the witch yelling at her subordinates before they see her. She's sequestered in a narrow backstreet, summoning vipers and spitting orders at them like she's waited a thousand years to do it. Kai and Lloyd keep out of sight, hunkered down behind stacked crates, and listen for any intel she might hand them. "Fools! All of you!" she yells. "Why have you not found him yet?"

"Mistress," one of the mummified soldiers hisses in fear. "A hundred centuries have passed since the First Age. He may have already departed this realm."

"Then find the weapons used to usurp me! He will have no choice but to show himself then."

"B-but scrolls do not last forever either."

Scrolls? Kai looks to Lloyd who shrugs, shaking his head.

She lets out a furious roar, and they catch the unmistakable sound of metal slicing through flesh. The soldier's body slams into their hideout a moment later, Lloyd sliding behind another box while Kai dodges the other way. He's an _idiot_ and doesn't duck low enough. _Maybe_ if he had his hood—

Aspheera fists her mitt in his tall hair, yanking him up from behind the box. "You!" she spits in his face. "Impossible!"

Kicking her in the jaw, he flips back, beating distance between them. She races after him, her bloodied spear poised to stab him next. He has to move, _now_ , before — energy collides with her shoulder — yep, before Lloyd reveals himself.

She grabs her arm and rounds on him, shrieking, "I left you entombed!"

Standing on the crates, Lloyd points at her, saying, "Yeah, you're new around here, so I've got a free bad-guy tip for you: finish the job yourself!"

"I _will_ ," she barks, swinging her spear at Kai who rolls under it. Lloyd fires at her arms, loosening her grasp on the weapon, then she spins to trip Kai with her tail. He jumps it, aiming a punch, but a lackey crashes into him, knocking him to the ground. Scrabbling with it, he jerks his head away from its snapping fangs.

Its weight suddenly disappears in a flash of green, then Lloyd pulls him to his feet. "Get back, Kai!" he yells, stepping in front of him. He throws another glittering orb at Aspheera, an elastic sphere kept in his left hand.

"Both of us," Kai shouts in response. The shield evaporates when he nabs Lloyd's arm, pulling him away from the fight but apparently right into another one.

He tries to find an opening between the vipers surrounding them, but the giant monsters breathe like flamethrowers, corralling the ninja closer together.

"You need to duck," Lloyd orders.

"What are you—" The hairs on the back of his neck stand up as the air vibrates with the energy Lloyd's gathering in his fists. He clutches them to his chest, and Kai drops down, covering his head. A ring of supercharged power and smoke cascades over his body, sending his cells into a dizzying state of activity. He suppresses his jitters, finding the snakes to be piles of ash when he looks up.

Aspheera's just standing there, holding her spear at her side, watching with some Serpentine form of thoughtfulness.

Panting, Lloyd glares her down.

"What _is_ your element, boy?" she hisses, slithering a step to them. "Only one has wielded such a power."

Lloyd doesn't trash talk her, only regaining his breath and holding his glare.

"You need to get out of here," Kai warns, standing.

Voice low for only Kai to hear, he says, "I'll hold her off while you make a run for it."

Kai growls. "Dude, that defeats the purpose," he says, the words rushing out in a jumble. "Just keep up with me."

Aspheera scoffs to herself as the two inch away from her, continuing without offense to being ignored, "I was distracted by the red one's warming flame back at my prison," she runs her hand over the spear's pole, slowly closing the distance between them, "but now that I feel yours..." She glances up, boring her slit, predatory eyes into Lloyd, and laughs. The sound ends with a bitter sigh. "You are a descendant of the treacherous deceiver, hmm?"

Kai sneers at her over the mention of his stolen powers, but Lloyd fires off orbs in an almost desperate flurry.

Aspheera dodges most of them, knocking the last away with her weapon. She flicks her tongue over the edge of its blade like she's a creep who enjoys the taste of her enemy's blood, but obviously she hasn't drawn theirs yet. It's something deeper than that, and it sets Kai on edge like nothing else. She bares her fangs, saying, "Yes, I think I will give you a try."

Her pink aura blankets the area, knocking Kai back a few feet before he can grab Lloyd by his gi.

Lloyd jumps out of the way, but he's caught mid-leap. He thrashes in the air, frantically trying to fight off Aspheera's magic as his energy flows in a stream to her mouth.

Kai screams and works harder than he ever has to call up even a spark of fire to stop her. But nothing happens. He _knows_ his powers are gone — he shouldn't have even _tried _—__ and now it's too late; Aspheera's slapping away the punch he throws with the tip of her flaming green tail. He abandons attacking her to instead catapult off a car as Lloyd falls, catching him. He lands in a roll across the asphalt to a crouch where he shields his little brother from the cackling witch behind them. Trembling, Lloyd looks up at him with terrified red eyes before slipping under the same lifeless exhaustion he felt.

A helpless apology dies in his throat as Aspheera hits him in the back with a shot of her stolen power, his fire singing his skin and Lloyd's concussive energy throwing them both yards down the road. He recovers fast, slinging Lloyd over his shoulder, and runs away into an alley, far away from her.

There's _nothing_ he can do but run.

Behind him, Aspheera bellows to her army, "My vengeance is at hand! Bring me the Scrolls of Forbidden Spinjitzu!"

"I told you, Lloyd," he vents, skidding around the corner to the neighboring street. "I _told_ you, but did you listen? 'Course not! No one listens to me!"

Several blocks down, his lungs burn and constrict in pain, but he keeps moving. Vipers try to incinerate him at nearly every turn. He's forced to stop when one smashes its tail down on the spot he barely sidesteps. He sees the next hit swinging towards him, but Lloyd's weight throws off the height he means to achieve when he jumps, the tail whipping them hard into a dead end.

 _Stupid! Stupid, stupid _—__ He knows better than that. Gasping for the air knocked out of him, he shoves his body to sit up against the wall and looks at Lloyd lying still on his side. How did they let themselves get this _soft_? "Please, get up. We gotta move," he pleads uselessly, shaking his brother's shoulder. Snakes fill his blurred vision, choking the small space and cutting off any escape. He pushes onto his knees, keeping his hand braced on the brick, protective over Lloyd, and blocks his face with the other arm.

Hissing and spitting, the vipers blow their sweltering breath on him as they bring their glowing fangs to his head.

"Kai!"

Water rains down on them, and they disintegrate into ash, coating the ninja below them with it. He looks up, wiping it out of his eyes.

Nya's standing on the roof above, dousing more snakes.

Not waiting around for her, he scoops Lloyd into his arms and dashes for cover through the path she clears for him.

There's a parking garage across the street, its entrance mostly blocked by fallen rubble. He's sure it'll be unlikely anyone sees them from outside. He climbs over the broken slabs of concrete and lays Lloyd out on the ground under the garage's shadow, collapsing on his backside to catch his breath, then waits for Nya to find them.

The sounds of fighting cut out soon, followed by her voice calling, "Kai, you in there?"

"Over here," he answers, not ready to move yet. Her soft footsteps shuffle up behind him, then she's touching his shoulder, kneeling beside him. "She stole his powers," he sighs furiously.

"Yeah, I figured that when all the snakes turned green," she says, her gentle tone doing nothing to help his anger.

He stands up, stalking away from any walls so he's not tempted to break his fist on one. Nya watches him, her brows furrowed with the worry he can imagine contorts the rest of her face under her mask. He snaps his eyes away from hers, the battle replaying in his mind as he paces. Something about what Aspheera said sticks out to him. "She thinks he's related to the guy who betrayed her."

Nya sighs with her own tinge of anger. "If that's true, then this is another Garmadon thing, huh. He's old enough."

"Looks like it." He might have to punch a support beam anyway. They just can't get any _peace_ from that man, can they?

She distracts him from his thoughts, asking, "Did you guys learn anything at least?"

"Yeah, she wants some old scrolls. _Forbidden_ spinjitzu," he spits the syllables of the thing that just has 'dangerous' written all over it. Sounds about right for them. "Supposed to lead her to him, or— or draw him out. I don't know." He turns back to her but keeps his eyes trained on the ground, thinking through his next action. He could bow out of this fight right now and make himself useful somewhere else. He's already got in the way _plenty_ , but then he's seeing Nya looking up at her big brother as she sets her hand on their little one's arm.

It's a situation like this when Kai's supposed to be needed most. He can't just sit on the sidelines, even if his stupid powers aren't around to help him. He moves for the exit, saying, "But I'm gonna find out."

"Maybe I should go," Nya offers quickly, one knee coming off the ground. "Without your powers—"

But that's exactly it. He interrupts her, half-shouting, "I can't _protect_ him, Nya. Just..." He drags his tone down, jaw working before letting him continue, " _Please_ , okay? Stay hidden. I'll find out what she's planning."

She flips her hood back, staring at him in surprise, but if she wants to say something, she bites it back and nods. She does add, "Hold on," though and tugs off Lloyd's hood, handing it to Kai as he steps up beside her. "So you can keep in contact," she explains before he can question her.

"Sure, whatever." Stuffing it in his gi, he swings his legs out over the rubble. If he needs the comm, he'll rip it out of the cloth.

He needs it when he realizes Master Wu's probably the one to contact right now. He pulls out the green mask and stares hard at it, his hand ready to get at the earpiece.

"Oh, who am I kidding?" he mutters to himself. He's not gonna tear up what belongs to Lloyd.

Jay finds him before he can go crawling back to Nya for help.

* * *

 _"Keep an eye out for Kai. He's probably a little lost right now,"_ Nya commands over the com-link.

"Acknowledged," Zane answers. He scans the area ahead of him, through walls and vehicles, and Cole searches from the rooftops, but there is no sign of Kai yet.

 _"I see him,"_ Jay informs them. _"Meet us on Main, guys."_

The two rush to the street.

Jay and Kai patiently wait for them outside the post office, the mailman glaring daggers at them from inside. Well, 'patiently' may not be the correct word. Kai appears to be silently fuming while Jay fidgets with the pins on his utility harness. "This is bad," he bursts when he sees them. "This is really, unbelievably bad. Are we losing already?"

"We are not," Zane tries to console as he scans Kai for potential injuries. He is unhurt, and there is a communication device marked with Lloyd's electronic signature hidden in his gi.

Kai pushes Jay aside and says, "Zane, get Master Wu on the phone."

He blinks in surprise but does as asked, first relaying the request to Pixal who takes a few minutes to explain the situation to the master, then she patches him into the link.

On Zane's confirmation, Kai grabs Jay by his shoulder, yanking him over so his hood's microphone is at Kai's mouth. "I know you can hear me, so listen up. Aspheera wants some scrolls from when your dad ran the place, so I'm thinking _you_ know what they are."

A tense moment passes, then Master Wu carefully says, _"The Scrolls of Forbidden Spinjitzu, yes. They are totems of tremendous elemental power."_ He continues, Zane sharing the explanation with Kai, _"Only two were created. I have one. Last I knew, the other is displayed at the museum. You_ must _retrieve it before she does and bring it to the temple, but do not touch it under_ any _circumstances."_

Zane says, "If we all rush to the museum, she is sure to be alerted by members of her army who see us."

With Lloyd out of commission, Cole takes over some command of the team, ordering, "Jay, get that scroll. Me, Zane, and Kai will distract her."

Jay salutes as they part.

Zane keeps close to Kai and says, "I could not help but notice you have Lloyd's hood. Why did you not use the comm?"

"Don't worry about it," Kai bites, giving him a harsh look.

If anything would be cause for worry, that is it, but he elects to leave his brother alone for now, keeping quiet when Kai mumbles, "We're going back to regular earpieces after this."

They find Aspheera not far from where Lloyd and Kai encountered her, so the latter states. He also gives an order of his own: "Both of you keep away from her."

Hand on her head, she paces back and forth, her objective evidently forgotten for the time being. Zane detects her grumbling, " _What_ is that infernal sound?" before Kai leaps out at her, yelling for her attention. She snarls at him and chases him around the corner where Cole waits to bury her in an avalanche of collateral damage. She falls for it.

Zane races up behind her and encases the rubble in ice. It does not hold her for long, her fiery green spinjitzu destroying the confinement, but he is ready to keep pummeling her with ice from a distance he calculates is too far for her magic to reach. He asks, "Jay, what is your status?"

_"Almost there."_

"You are not there yet?" He uses spinjitzu to fly backwards when she gets too close, Cole punching the earth to throw off her charge.

_"Dude, I was supposed to sneak, right? Get off my back!"_

"I understand tensions are high, Jay, but you need to remain calm."

Kai stays away as well, lobbing stones at her from a four-story rooftop each time she moves to attack his teammates with stolen elemental power.

"Enough!" Aspheera bellows after the last rock hits her in the eye, slamming the base of her spear on the concrete. Then she cackles to herself, saying, "Ah, I see now." Energy swirls in her free hand.

Zane is unsure why that brings him dread.

"Lightning is not so quick when one knows where it may strike," Aspheera calls before she slams her weapon again and chants in an ancient dialect, one that can only signal dark magic. "Fire Fang!" she cries as blistering heat floods the area. As large as the Colossus, a burning charcoal serpent materializes from the flame around her. On its flat head rests an ugly, charred throne, an open space on the back for a Serpentine's tail to slip through. His sensors indicate the beast must be how she traversed the desert to arrive in Ninjago City.

And it is at the perfect height to snap Kai up.

"Kai! Get down from there!" Zane screams.

His brother probably cannot hear him so high up, but he sees the situation as well, the great serpent driving for him. He dodges its bite and dashes to the fire escape, sliding down the ladder to the first landing. He swings over its railing, aiming for the next, just as the serpent slams its body against the metal framework, breaking it into pieces.

Zane is too far.

But Cole is not. He catches Kai before he hits the ground.

Distracted by his fear and subsequent relief, Zane failed to stop Aspheera from mounting the serpent. She commands it to travel in the direction that is a line straight to the museum, to Jay.

"She's somehow learned of our plan! We have to stop her," he shouts to the others.

Kai ventures to join Cole and him in pursuit of her, but he feels an unpleasant twinge in his power source. She has already harmed Kai, almost severely injuring him just now. Zane cannot bear to let him endanger himself further while their forces are stretched thin. "Wait, Kai. I think you should go back to Lloyd and Nya."

Understandably, he disagrees. "I can help!"

"Yes, your help would be most appreciated with them, especially with Lloyd's power taken as well," he says, though it pains him to see Kai tense up. "Cole and I can—"

"I get the message, Zane," Kai erupts, whirling away on his heel. "I'm _worthless _.__ "

"What? No, that is not—" but Kai has already run off. Zane only stands there, observing in shock as his brother disappears.

The poetic nature of tying his tears to his powers was not lost on him when Jay suggested it. He would have liked that very much, but soon, they both could see the downsides to it. Should he lose his powers or one day pass them on to another, he would forfeit the ability again, so they decided on a physical mechanism that would be operated by a new program written into his neural network. Meant to simulate biological emotion, he designed it to respond in randomized degrees to loss and empathy, cruelty and joy, profound fear and suffocating laughter. He cannot disable it like flipping a switch either. If he wishes not to cry, he must learn to control it like humans do.

It may be the most sophisticated program he has integrated to date, so much so that he is not entirely sure what other emotions could trigger it. Jay tested it with films that he claimed were "100% gonna make him cry" to no avail; therefore, Zane guessed it needed more fine tuning. Now he is certain it does.

He touches his face where unbidden drops of water fall, soaking his mask.

"C'mon, Zane, we need to meet up with Jay," Cole says, stepping up beside him. He begins to head towards the museum, but halting, he suddenly ducks to catch Zane's eyes. "Whoa, you okay?" He moves closer, holding both hands up and glowering, but not at Zane. "Did he say something to you?"

"N-no, it was me. He misinterpreted what I said. I—" Zane has to stop talking, giving a short laugh as he attempts to stifle the flow with his palm. "My apologies. It seems this program still," it compels him to take in a shaky breath, "still has bugs to iron out."

Cole regards him with warm concern and places a hand on his shoulder, gently saying, "Looks like it's working just fine to me, bolt brain."

"I-I don't understand."

Cole squeezes both hands after setting the other on his arm, elaborating, "You feel bad about hurting his feelings, but he'll get over himself."

Yes, being responsible for the hurt of his loved ones is the worst thing Zane can imagine. The teary reaction seems logical now.

"He knows it's not what you meant, okay?" Cole continues.

Jay mumbles in his ear, _"I'm in. A...B...C...Got it, they've got First Age stuff in Hall H."_

Right, though not necessarily more important, there are life-threatening concerns at the moment. Deep breaths, fast blinks, and a mastering of the emotion churning in his power source commands the tears to stop. He is all right and tells Cole so.

His brother smiles, rubbing his arms before letting him go.

He asks Pixal to send them the helicopter she rescued them with by remote control. They will need the extra speed to catch up with Aspheera now.

* * *

_Lloyd trudges through a pitch black cave, the only source of light emitting from the energy sphere in his hand. There's something here he needs to find. He's not sure when he lost it, and the bell that's supposed to guide him is being infuriatingly quiet._

_"My, my. Lost your way, have you?"_

_"Never," he declares, rounding on the familiar voice. It's something else that's gone missing. He won't let his first true adversary burrow under his skin or cloud his judgement over it._

_Pythor's acid-washed white scales swallow up the color of Lloyd's element, drawing it in deep and corrupting it into the sickly green of the Great Devourer. The serpent's belittling smirk stretches his face._

_"What did you do to him?" Lloyd demands._

_Aspheera brandishes her spear, flame bursting from under each fire orange scale, the color not her own either. "You'll find out. Oh, you will." She spirals into a colossal dark dragon. It opens its jaws wide and snaps them shut over him, devouring his element whole._

_He's defeated this evil before. He may have lost his power, but it grows again, stronger and more immense until he shapes raw vitality into mastered potential. The darkness scatters just as it had, and he spins, searching, because he knows someone waits for him in the light._

_His silhouette emerges from it._

_"Dad!" Lloyd shouts._

_Garmadon hugs him with the only two arms he's got. He's back, he's back, he's ba—_

_White hot pain spikes in Lloyd's ribs._

_Harumi drags the knife out and looks up from his chest, blood running down her scowling face from her bleached white hair, but it's not his. He doesn't bleed anymore._

_Vermilion snakes spill from the wound she left and gather tight around her body, constricting her._

_Held in golden radiance, he floats back, leaving her to stand alone on the tower of her vice._

_She meets his eyes, narrowed with hatred, as her voice echoes a memory._

> _"I died that day, too."_

_A flash of frigid white surges through his veins. "No, Rumi. You didn't have to," he answers as he raises his hand. "But you will." Bringing it down, he summons a Tornado of Creation that collides with the building's base over and over again.  
_

_She breathes, "Lloyd?" like she can't believe it's him causing it, her eyes wide with the understanding of what's about to become of her._

_He says nothing, but then he realizes she's not alone._

_His own father sets his hand on her shoulder as the door to the stairwell opens. Mistaké steps out and locks a disappointed stare on him._

_Behind her follows Zane, but it's him before he became titanium, and a shadow lingers over his head. The Overlord. The rest of Lloyd's family files out next, each trailed by the enemies who hurt them. Morro holds the Sword of Sanctuary to Cole's throat. A ball and chain slows Jay's steps. Aspheera threatens to run her spear through Kai's back, and Nya comes out last. He can't make out what binds her, but something about it seems familiar. He can't remember why, just as he's not sure when he picked up that association with Jay._

_They're all standing in the path of danger, begging him to stop it._

_He tries to disperse the Tornado, but the damage is already done. The air quakes around him as the building falls._

_He looks at the hand he killed them with, finding his skin pitch black, purple fire emanating from under his fingernails. And everywhere below him, screaming people run in the burning streets, as if he's made the entire world crash down on their heads._

* * *

Kai doesn't run straight to the hideout he left Nya and Lloyd in. Instead, once he's out of Zane's line of sight, he crouches in an alley, elbows on his knees as he glares at his worthless hands, willing them to ignite. "Please," he begs. "Come on, _please_. I need you to come back."

The fire that's supposed to reside in him won't even give off smoke.

There's a pile of trash burning further down the alley, and if the spark inside can't take his orders, maybe that can. It flickers to the side and dances tall, at times making him think it's responding to him, but he just feels like a little kid that tricks himself into believing he has telekinesis when he balances a pencil on its end.

It's karma. This is what he gets for hesitating to help Lloyd.

Kicking the pile probably isn't the smartest idea. His shoe catches on fire, so he has to keep kicking to put it out, but it helps release the pent up fury he's too weak to take out on enemies. He figures it's as fit for human interaction as he'll be today, so he does as he was told, feeling like a complete jerk for yelling at Zane. It's _Aspheera's_ fault he's a danger case, not any of theirs. Not Kai's either.

He's kind of expecting the other two to be gone already, but behind the wall of rubble, he hears muted voices. And laughing? No, that's Lloyd awake, and he's _crying_.

His sister asks if Jay's been telling her secrets, and Lloyd answers her in a voice that makes Kai want to set whoever caused _that_ on fire.

He shouldn't eavesdrop. It's an awful thing to do to the people who trust him with their lives, but he really, really needs to know what's going on. He's too close to crying himself anyway. Going in there's just gonna set him off, so he leans on the slab, crossing his arms. To...to keep watch.

* * *

Nya peers over the concrete slab. What's in been, about thirty minutes since Kai took off? Thankfully, she hasn't seen many snakes, but that just means they're causing problems somewhere else. She can't shake her anxiety that her family might be in trouble while she's not there to help.

Gravel rustles beside her. It's Lloyd finally coming around, but when his head jerks to the side and the arm folded over his chest kind of flails, she realizes he isn't awake yet. Anyone who's shared a room with him before knows how crazy twitchy he can get when he dreams. Not even three days after defeating the Oni, he almost caused the monastery to burn down a second time after he knocked over a lit candle at least a foot away from him in his sleep.

Well, if his mind's active enough to dream, then she can probably wake him now. "Okay, Lloyd, this is a _really_ bad time for a nap," she says, leaning over him. "Lloyd?"

He only gives an agitated hum, so she shakes his shoulder. They both yelp when, crying out, he shoots straight up and cracks his forehead right on her face. She decides she should've seen that coming as she falls back, holding her nose.

After taking a few moments to blink away the stars, she inspects him again. He hasn't moved except to press the heels of his hands into his eyes.

She sees his chest heave once, twice, and then a tear escapes down the side of his face.

"Oh, Lloyd, does it hurt that bad?" she asks, worried. Thinking Aspheera injured his head earlier, she feels around his hair, trying to find a wound, but he pushes her hand away.

"No," he grinds out. "It's not that." His arms slip down to his stomach, all but hugging himself, and he chokes on a sob, eyes screwed shut against his sudden breakdown.

 _This_ she did see coming. Her memory jumps back to so recently when he lost his powers the last time, how hard it hurtled him to the ground before he found reason buried in a shipwreck to bottle it up. Of course losing them again would be hell for him. She slides her hand under the base of his neck, murmuring, "Your powers?" It's more to prompt him into talking about it than to get a simple confirmation.

He shakes his head roughly, saying, "No," again as she lifts his shoulders.

"Then what?" she asks, at a complete loss. He sits up the rest of the way himself. Still, she keeps her hand on his back, comforting and stabilizing.

He won't stop shaking, neither his whole body nor his head, his fingers digging into his arms. "No, I-I can't. Please go. I _can't_ —"

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong, Lloyd," she stresses, on the brink of tears now, too.

He still looks like he's not gonna explain, swallowing hard a few times to keep from crying.

"You trust me, right?" she says, rubbing his back.

Hunching down lower, he nods and tries to give her something at least. "They— they throw us _parties_."

"The people we save?"

"Yeah, a-and I _know_ we can't save everyone, but too much of it..." He sucks in his next breath through his teeth, holding back. She touches his head for a second, urging him to continue. He clearly wants to keep the cork wedged in tight, but then the words pour out. "It's just, so much of what Ninjago's faced has been our fault— _my_ fault. My father, the Serpentine and— and the Overlord," he screws his eyes shut, " _Harumi_. If it wasn't me causing the problem, it was _me_ not getting the job done right. People— People are dead because— _augh_ ," he coughs, scrubbing at his face.

Stunned, she can't find anything to say. A part of her knew he _had_ to be feeling something like this at some point, but he kept it to himself. How long has he been hiding it?

Oblivious to her saddening reaction at every word, he glances around the rubble, the fire raging outside, and lets out a shaky breath, continuing, "And now here we are releasing _another_ _monster_ because I wanted to go on some new quest, like our missions have just been a stupid game we had nothing to do with. I mean, what kind of- third rate- Green Ninja—"

The rest of his sentence cuts off, partly since he loses the battle against his tears but mostly because she smothers him in her arms.

"Listen to me, Lloyd," she says, covering his head with her hand. "You're the heart and soul of this team. We wouldn't even be here without you."

That doesn't work because he huffs and manages, " _You_ \- you'd have the- the destiny you chose if it weren't for me. I wasn't enough to—"

"Oh, no, don't go dragging me into your crisis," she says, tensing her fingers and the arm she has around his shoulders. "I swore to protect you, remember? Not hurt you."

"S-sorry." He hides his face with one hand, trying to breathe steady to get his sobs under control. He's got the other arm around his torso instead of hers, like he thinks he doesn't deserve to be held while he's hurting. It's not fair how much he can do for the world and still feel like this.

With a sigh, she lets him have a minute so she can wade through her own thoughts. How does he know that about her destiny? She never told Master Wu or Misako how she really felt when they made her the Water Ninja. Sure, they saw her angry and reluctant about it, but only one person knows _why_. "Is Jay telling my secrets?" she asks in a gentle voice, petting his hair to let him know she's not mad.

"I just know, Nya," he whines into his palm.

He's _breaking_ her heart, sounding that miserable. She pulls his hand away and tilts his face up to look at her, his bright eyes red from tears and familial inheritance, her baby brother. She's gonna get him smiling again just like she used to during his early days on the _Bounty_. After the golden weapons revealed his destiny, he'd acted so brave in front of the boys, proud and ecstatic to be proclaimed such an important person, but she'd caught him more than once terrified out of his mind by the future.

Just like her, he wasn't given any choice, but he doesn't have to see it that way. Not on her account. "I did choose this, okay? You didn't take anything away from me."

He twists out of her grasp and drops the side of his head back on her shoulder, another yet weaker wave of tears capsizing him.

What else can she even say? That he's wrong about their enemies? He doesn't believe her about her choices. She doubts he'll accept that either. Could she encourage him by making it about herself to be a role model? That worked so well last time. Her eyes prickle as she squeezes her arms tighter around his shoulders and says, "I wish I knew how to help you."

"But you do, all the time."

"How?"

He sniffs, sitting up out of her hold, and gestures like he's trying to think of an example as he flattens his feet on the pavement. "I mean, you helped me learn that I don't need my powers."

"I did?" Glancing at the ground, she mutters, "I thought it was Mistaké."

"She...She, um, wouldn't have got it through my thick head without you." Grimacing, he gets his hand tangled in his hair, leaning over his knees and murmuring, "I'm _sorry_ for almost quitting the Resistance."

She sighs again.

> _"You're alive. That's all you need to know."_

If he's just gonna go laying out everything he's ashamed of, she's not letting him do it alone.

She pushes herself back against a support beam with her leg, mirroring how he sits. She's glad his back's to her as she says, "Lloyd, what happened to you, your powers. _I_ called that shot. And I watched what it did to you, how you might as well have _died_ in that shop until we learned that the others were okay. I'll never apologize for saving you, but..."

But she got it after that, what mastering an element means. She couldn't have helped him then as Samurai X, not as some insecure kid who thought she had to do everything on her own. She's just _Nya_ now as she always wanted to be but, at the same time, more than that. As the Master of Water, she became part of something bigger than herself when she realized her true potential, and she took _that_ away from him. As much as it wasn't his choice, his elemental mastery is who he is.

All she could do was focus on making him strong without it, but it's like nothing she said reached him through the depths of his loss. The elements manifest like that, like domains over the range of human experience. They're every piece of reality, and just as they embody life, they hurt it, too. Burning and freezing to death, earthquakes and electrocution, aging, overthinking, standing in the path of a tornado, danger hiding in the shadows. _Drowning_. She's supposed to save him from that. What kind of elemental master is she if she can't do her job? That's how she failed him and, "I know what I did was unforgivable."

Having to turn slightly, propped on his arm, he looks at her with distressed confusion. "What are even talking about? You think I lost my powers because of the tea?"

She scrunches her brows, glancing to the side and back as if to say, 'Yes? What else could it have been?'

He shakes his head slowly. "No. It wasn't. Kai told me he talked to Master Wu. He said it was Garmadon. His powers. They're tied to mine somehow." He looks between his hands, explaining, "He— He _saps_ them when I fight with him. Destroys them completely." Turning back to her, he holds his hair aside, giving her his eyes to remind her of the color they'd been, how he knows they're not black now. Shrugging a little, he continues, "Kai s-saw it. They were already gone before..." He drops his hand, eyebrows raising in shock. "Wait, did you think...it was your fault? This _whole_ time?" His face falls, more tears threatening to spill out as he practically wails, "Nya!"

She pulls him close again, shaking her head at the ceiling and huffing the sting out of her throat. "I think we need a lesson in _communication_ , Master Lloyd."

He laughs quietly, painfully, and mutters, "I'm sorry," as he grips her arm, finally returning the hug evidently now that there's someone other than himself to feel sorry for.

"You really need to stop saying that."

"Sor—"

" _Lloyd_ ," she admonishes, pushing him back. There's still water on his face, so she hobbles to a kneel in front of him while he sits cross-legged. She's about to be very stupidly mushy, but she's gotta _do something_ to make him feel better somehow. She holds her forefinger to his face, sending her aura into his tears. His cheeks turn red as he tracks her brushing them all away with a wave of her hand. She sets it on his shoulder, saying, "It doesn't matter what you do. I'm _here_ for you, okay?"

 _Finally_ , it's the thing that works. He gives her a nod then one of his soft smiles before he flinches in embarrassment. Rubbing his eyes, he giggles a drawn out, "Stop."

"And speaking of lessons," she continues while they're on the subject, "Don't ever blame yourself for what other people choose to do to you." When her time comes, Harumi and Morro won't know a second longer of peace.

He doesn't give her much indication that he understands that part, instead staring towards the street and patting around his collar. "Now where's my hood?"

Kai _conveniently_ pokes himself into the hideout then, saying, "Hey, uh, there's a scroll at the museum. Jay's probably got it by now."

"We better go help him," Nya says, standing. She gives Lloyd a hand up and lets him leave first.

As he steps out, Kai catches him around the neck in a one-armed hug, returning his hood with the other. Though their backs are to her, she hears him mutter, "I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know," Lloyd answers in a stronger voice, holding onto Kai's forearm. They pull apart, and he puts his hood on as he runs ahead, asking for the others' positions.

She doesn't flip her hood over her face to listen to their happy, muffled responses. That other brother of hers seems to need some attention, too.

As the two follow Lloyd, a private distance from him, she asks, "So, uh, how much of that did you hear?"

Kai blinks away from her, glowering, obviously not wanting to talk either.

Protecting Lloyd's pride shouldn't be her priority right now anyway, so she doesn't press him on it, saying instead, "Our lives sure have changed a lot, huh."

He scoffs, taking the bait. "Yeah. To think my only worry used to be making sure I got a client's order done by the deadline."

The way he says that would make anyone else think he regrets giving up his old life, but she knows his 'stressed but still fond' voice. He'd never hold his bad experiences as a ninja against his brothers, least of all Lloyd.

Kai's keeping a safeguarding eye on him as Nya says, "You had a nightmare about losing him, right? After Morro took him away."

He rolls his eyes, staring off at his memories, before he dramatically flicks them to her. "Nya, I've had _tons_ of those, and they're all starting to bleed out into reality. I'm _this_ close to losing it right now." Unexpectedly, the fondness gets replaced by annoyance. "Satisfied your inner shrink yet?"

"Kai..."

"Can we please just focus on the mission?" he snaps.

"You're right," she mumbles, shying away since he wants to act like a jerk.

Out of the corner of her eye, his demeanor crumples. "No, Nya, I'm sorry. I'm dealing with it. I just..." He sighs, continuing, "You never told me it was like that."

She sighs too, a sad huff, and says, "You really think he'd want you to know?"

He glances ahead, pensive. "Guess not." He looks back to her, his expression shifting to worried suspicion. "Well, what about you?"

For a moment, she feels the weight of grief that nearly crushed her when she thought she lost so much. She squares her shoulders against it. "I never give up. Neither does he." She gestures to Lloyd, thinking about how Aspheera could've killed him, but Kai stuck by his side and got him to safety. She fist bumps her brother's arm. "And you didn't either. See? We're all okay."

It's hard to do since they're running, but Kai tries it anyway, grabbing her with one arm and squeezing her tight.

They'd swapped the stories when the boys got back home. She knows how they'd been held prisoner, used to hunt dragons, walked the desert for miles without knowing where they were going, and like they knew the bare facts of hiding from Harumi for that month, Kai never shared how he _felt_ there. When he lets her go, she says, "Your turn. What was the First Realm like, really?"

His eyes flash with something like fear, and he clears his throat. "You know. It—" Several moments pass as he thinks of a good answer for her. Finally, he says, "The, uh, the war between the dragons and Oni, right? It just felt like, after all of that fighting, they killed what kept their realm alive. The people were just running on instinct."

She hadn't thought that when she met Faith. "Well, you saved them from that guy controlling them. Maybe they have hope now."

"I don't know," he says, shrugging. "Waking up there, it...it was like the world ended."

They've fallen behind Lloyd from talking so much, and he finally notices, calling, "What's the holdup, you guys?"

"We're coming," Kai answers back, picking up the pace.

Nya wordlessly follows. They've averted crisis so much that the world coming to a literal end has a complicated duality in her head. Like the difference between just knowing and really hearing Lloyd talk about what bothers him, logically she knows how easy it'd be for everything to end. But for the most part, even with the city burning around her, it doesn't seem real. She's not gonna give it the chance to prove itself.

* * *

Zane's been circling the giant snake monster, blasting it with ice from the chopper, but Cole has about had it with watching the dang thing break out, inching closer and closer to the museum. "Aim at Aspheera," he exclaims.

If Zane had veins, one would be popping right now. "Do you not think I have been trying?"

Cole’s fixing to retort when Lloyd pings into the comm, _"Everyone, what's your position?"_

"About time!" Cole bursts, grinning.

"Good to have you back, Lloyd. Cole and I are en route to the museum," Zane says. "Did Kai update you on the situation?"

_"Yeah. We'll meet you there."_

_"Oh, that's great,"_ Jay chimes in with his fake chipper tone, _"because I thought you were supposed to keep her away from here!"_

"We—" Cole starts but eats his own words. The icy mist from Zane's last attack clears, revealing Aspheera's absence atop the snake’s head. His heart suddenly pounding, he orders, "Drop me off."

"Do not let her see you, Jay," Zane says as he complies, getting the chopper as close to the ground as he dares.

Cole leaves him to manage the witch's pet and tears it the rest of the way to the museum on foot.

It's climbing into view when Jay says, _"Okay, I've got good news that's gonna sound like bad news."_

"What happened?"

He sounds winded. _"So, I found the scroll, but they had it in clearstone, and Wu said not to touch it anyway, so I had no idea what to do. Then you guys didn't keep Aspheera away from here."_

"You could put it in a bag from the gift shop, your hood, wrap it up in a shirt—" Cole can't help listing.

 _"Shut it, I'm explaining. As I was saying,_ you guys _let her find it."_

 _"Jay! Does she have the scroll?"_ Lloyd yells.

_"That's the good news! It's a fake! I think."_

"What?" Cole asks, the others echoing his confusion.

_"She grabbed it and acted like it was supposed to do something. Bad guys yelling, 'It's fake!' and throwing it on the floor means it's fake, right?"_

_"It must be a replica,"_ Zane guesses. _"Jay, can you find out where the museum stores the original?"_

 _"You know, Zane, I'd love to do that, but—"_ He cuts out with a shriek, shouting into the comm a moment later as his lightning bolts try to drown out his voice. _"She's on to me! So let's save me first!"_

"Five minutes, buddy!" Cole shouts, forcing himself to run faster. He slams through the front doors and races to the first map he sees, but it's too damaged to read. He's soon finding _all_ the signs and hall placards blasted black and ashy, completely unreadable. "Jay," he croons, aggravated. "Why are all the guides destroyed?"

 _"Uh, so no one would follow me right to the scroll, duh?"_ he explains in a single breath.

Though Jay can't see him, Cole puts his hands on his hips, eyebrow raised like his dad whenever he got in trouble. "You mean like your rescue party?"

_"This is no time for your sarcasm, Cole! I'm being chased!"_

" _My_ sarcasm?"

Jay doesn't answer him.

"Your brain, Cole. Use it," he says to himself and takes off down a corridor that had better be the right one. Jay's screeching for help by the time he runs out of hallway, the sound coming from two places — his earpiece and distantly outside it.

Not today, not on his watch. He lava punches down the wall in front of him and swats away the plaster dust.

Aspheera's got Jay in her magical choke hold, siphoning off his lightning.

"Let him go!" Cole screams as he slams his fists on the checkered tile. His aura pulsates through the earth deep below the building and launches a sharpened chunk of stone up from under her, slamming her against the ceiling, pinning her to it. Her magic dissipates, leaving Jay to twitch on the floor.

Cole races to him and drags him to the far wall, hidden behind display cases. "Talk to me, Jay," he prods, sitting his best friend against one, supporting his shoulder so he doesn't topple over. "You're good, right?"

He's a little woozy, but he shakes it away and snaps his fingers, electricity still sparking. "Y-yeah, I'm good. Thanks."

Nodding once, Cole calls up his lava and says, "Cover me."

"W-what?"

He doesn't wait for Jay to sort himself out, which maybe he should have, but he charges towards Aspheera who's wiggled out of the pin. His fist connects solidly with her jaw, throwing her against the opposite wall. He keeps up the attack, jumping forward each time she tries to back off. She can't physically match him without a weapon, but she still has two elements at her disposal.

Slinging them up and backwards, his powered arms catch the fireballs she hurtles at him, absorbing their heat before they can really hurt him. She tries energy, so he whirls into his spinjitzu to knock the orbs away. A few still make it through the earthen shield, and he hits the tile, nearly paralyzed with seized nerves.

Taking the opportunity, she darts over and crushes him in her grip when she picks him up. With horror, he realizes she's getting ready to sink her fangs into his neck. All the magic in the world apparently isn't as fun as indulging base instincts.

"You want this? Have some!" Jay yells as he zaps her, stunning her long enough for Cole to kick her in the stomach with both feet and get away.

"Waste of my time," she snarls. Her spear nearby, she scoops it up. Faster than either of the ninja have to do something about it, the weapon charges with red and green power, tinged with pink, and surges out. It catches Cole around the neck like a hand, lifting him into the air. For a second, he thinks he's about to lose his element, but Aspheera's just holding him there.

"Cole!" Jay shouts before the magic grabs him, too.

The spell doesn't only choke them around their necks but also flows into their mouths, down their throats, and it _burns_. Cole's organs physically scream at him to stop her, or she's gonna char them to a crisp.

"Your greatness!" a black snake calls from one of the doorways.

" _What_?" Aspheera snaps.

"I have received reports that the treacherous deceiver's home still stands!"

She slams the ninja down hard on the floor, breaking the spell on them.

Cole's ears ring louder than the snakes' voices. Coughing, he turns his head over enough to see Jay who seems just as dazed, blinking slow. Neither of them can get up until Aspheera and her entourage are long gone. "Great," he groans.

Jay struggles to push himself up. "H-how are we supposed to fight her? She can take our powers at any time and gives Clouse a _marathon_ for his money."

"Dude, relax," Cole says as he helps the other stand.

"All of you stop telling me that!"

Cole rubs at the headache trying to burst out of his temple. "Bro...bro," he starts, unwilling to finish the weird mantra.

Jay stops his crazy breathing and looks at Cole for a moment before he sighs. "Bro bro, goo goo. Got it."

The two then head for the exit.

"E-excuse me?"

Cole stops short and turns. There's a woman dressed in the museum's fancy uniform that he vaguely recognizes as the new curator. She seems really timid, but hey, if she's still hanging around here with all the commotion, she must have dedication to her job. Better than the last one, he thinks with more amusement than he should during a crisis situation.

She says, "You're looking for the real scroll, correct?"

"Yeah, do you know where it is?"

After shaking her head, she responds, "No, not since it was removed, but I _can_ tell you that it was the original donors who asked for it back due to security concerns...such as this. A member of the Explorer's Club may be able to help you."

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me. Just save our city."

Once Cole relays the intel she gave him and their massive defeat, the others go into planning mode, starting with Zane pointing out that they need more information on Aspheera to hopefully find a weakness in her. Jay proposes going down to the sewers to ask Skales what he knows. Then Nya suggests that the other two and she can break off to interrogate Clutch Powers.

 _"Go. Pixal and I will keep track of Aspheera's movements,"_ Zane volunteers.

 _"And we'll get the real scroll,"_ Lloyd declares.

Jay looks to Cole and whines, "Skales better make it worth the effort."

With that, the team splits up further to prepare for round three. Or is it four now?

Cole wasn't expecting it to be such a gut punch when he learns that the Serpentine historians know who the 'deceiver' is. Considering the ordeal the little master put his brothers and him through in the First Realm though, yeah, it's definitely an emotional bruise he's gonna feel in the morning, but he can't say he's all that surprised. Wu certainly had a conniving streak at that age. It just _sucks_ that it had to turn into this mess.

* * *

Pitch black skin, four arms, bloodied armor. Fire orange eyes.

It's a look Lloyd was content to only see on himself in nightmares, but clearly Ninjago's _weird_ and likes to create _weird things_ like this mirror.

Sheathing his sword, he tells himself it's not real. That's not him. It's not now, and it's never going to be. Because he's a _well-adjusted adult_ who's got more important things to worry about.

He keeps searching for the scroll.

* * *

It was really rude of Kai to take his anger out on her earlier, but he wasn't exactly wrong for calling her a shrink. Nya knows a thing or two about _complexes_ , so when she sees herself as a normal girl, no true potential fulfilled, she mentally, sarcastically, congratulates Master Wu on the great job he did tying her fear of failure to her success as the Water Ninja.

Good and bad inextricably entwined?

She just feels peace about that.

* * *

Kai stands in front of the mirror and sees himself as well, but not as a contorted monster or an average person. He doesn't see himself stampeded by elves or drowned in water or any of that old news either. No, he's freckly faced, messy hair untamed without any gel, and about three feet shorter, sobbing his eyes out.

He can't hold a sword, can't drive, can't earn money, can't find his parents. He can't conjure fire from his soul. Yeah, he knows he's powerless, and his friends are gonna suffer because of it, but that's something he _can_ accept the blame for. He needs to be better.

He was, once before, and that was also the last time he faced his fear. They got Lloyd back because of it, so maybe losing his powers really _is_ supposed to teach him something. Apparently Nya taught it to Lloyd in like a month, so that's what? A week for him?

Because Lloyd's a big _moron_. "Hey, I think I found it," he calls from the other room. He's reaching for a long stick, a very distinct, old scroll mounted to it.

"Don't!" Kai yells, too late.

His baby brother screams and catches on fire.

* * *

It's only an intense wave of power passing through him. Lloyd's totally fine. He's just seeing the expanse of _everything_ and feeling thousands of years pool every ounce of his element into his body. There's only so much of him; of course that power's got no other choice than to bleed its light visible in his aura.

Nya knocks the scroll away, cutting out the sense with a resounding clatter on the floor. Then Kai's in his face, shaking his shoulders and demanding, "Are you okay? What'd you go and touch it for?"

"N-no, I..." He looks down at his tingling hands. Absently, he mutters, "I only touched the rod," as his fingers sparkle with energy.

"Your powers!" Nya gasps.

Kai steps out of his personal space, and he closes his hands, the green and yellow glow going out. It's still there, he knows it is, but he jerks his hands just to be sure. They obediently flare again. His siblings laugh in excitement for him before they wonder how he got it back. His voice doesn't want to cooperate just yet, so he points at the scroll.

"It...grants elemental power?" Nya guesses, looking to Kai.

Lloyd shakes his head, slow so it doesn't make him dizzy. "I don't know," he says through his panting. "It was just __a_ lot_ of it."

"Kai, maybe this means you can..." She trails off before her runaway mouth presents the bad idea.

Lloyd dispels the energy when his memory catches on the image of Kai's brown eyes flashing a bitter red, his brother speaking in an unrecognizable voice. As much as he wants to agree with Nya, that was way too much power. He can't risk what it may do to Kai if he held that scroll for even a second.

He doesn't have to say anything though. Kai speaks up for himself. "I—" he starts, hesitant. He swallows and says, "I don't want it."

Slack jawed, Lloyd and Nya stare at him. Even he's got a wide-eyed look on his face like he can't believe what he just said, but he crosses his arms, shrugging nervously and again asserting, "I don't. It's fine."

"Why not?" Nya asks, perfectly reasonable.

"Oh, come on, sis," he tries to deflect, a little mad like he's shocked he has to explain himself.

Lloyd steps closer to him. "No, she's right. What gives?"

Uncrossing, his hands go to his hips. "You're both gonna hound me when I _know_ you were just now agreeing on nobody touching that thing again?"

"We— _Yes_ , but," Lloyd sputters. "It's not like you to brush off your powers. Why now?"

Kai runs his hand through his hair, taking a few steps back from them before throwing it down. "'Cause you were right, okay? I need to learn how to be a hero without powers."

Lloyd blinks. That's— Okay. Not really how he'd prefer anyone on his team to learn that lesson, but okay, yeah, he has every reason to understand. If it wouldn't sound condescending, he'd congratulate Kai on accepting the situation and trying to make the best of it.

"Oh, Kai," Nya sighs, extending her hand to touch the side of his head.

Blinking suspiciously fast, he doesn't stop it or the smile he manages for her.

Lloyd's proud of his big brother and lets it show in his own smile. He moves to Kai's other side, saying, "You just have to find your voice. It's where your true power lies." He makes a determined fist as he puts his other arm around Kai's back.

Kai snorts, but that's all the dispute he gives to the wisdom Lloyd had to earn the hard way.

They hear from Zane that Aspheera's advancing on the monastery, so they hurry to wrap things up here, literally for the scroll that gets bundled up in a rug he hopes the Explorer's Club won't miss.

He'll return it, once this is over. Even if he has to spend years researching, he _will_ figure out how to give Kai his fire back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a tidbit about the song cole's singing: the mills brothers were the original performers of his 'glow little glowworm' one back in the 50s
> 
> anyway, GOOD LORD, i did not mean to take so long to update. very sorry about that! we're past the halfway point now; ch5 is bringing all the hard AU stuff, and it's not gonna rehash the season as much as this chapter did. thanks again for sticking with it so far <3
> 
> oh also, in case anyone who missed it would be interested, i've posted the start of my tlnm!morro fic~ that one's planned to have a lot more action and a clear plot compared to this one


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